I Swear I Meant To Mean The Best [RAFE]{BXB}(OUTERBANKS)

9

Morgan's POV
A couple weeks later
Rafe mumbles "morning" and I say "morning" smiling and he pecks my lips, sitting on the couch, waiting for people before we go to breakfast. Rafe mumbles "I'm gonna miss you" laying his head in my lap, curling up on the couch. Its my last day around here, my mom wants me home, and she thinks I'm doing better along with the rest of the staff here. This boy wants me to stay cause I know I'm ripping him apart just leaving. I say "Rafe, you're ok, baby, you'll do ok" and he sits up, pulling me into his arms mumbling "I don't want you to go" gripping my shirt. I kiss his forehead and I say "you're doing so well, baby, don't let me leaving screw that up for you." He kisses my cheek and he mumbles "I know, I just don't know whats gonna happen when you're gone." I say "you'll be ok, baby" and he wraps his arms tightly around me mumbling "I can't do it without you." I mumble "I'm always here for you even when I'm not here" kissing his forehead, then resting his head on my shoulder. I run my fingers through his hair saying "you're almost out of here, I can feel it, be really good the next month or so and you'll be out, ok?" Rafe nods, just hugging me, and mumbles "what are you gonna do when you leave?" I mumble "go home and lay in my bed and cry about how much I miss you" kissing his head. He mumbles "please don't leave" gripping my shirt and I say "we'll be ok, I'll call, I'll come visit whenever I can, ok?" He nods, rubbing my back, and mumbles "wanna fuck?" I chuckle saying "what?" He says "you heard me" resting his hand on my thigh and I say "there's no time" resting my head on his shoulder. Rafe mumbles "not even a quickie?" I say "we've never even done it before and you'd want our first time to be a quickie?" Rafe says "no" and he picks his head up saying "I want our first time to last a bit too long" against my cheek. I smile mumbling "I like the sound of that" giggling and blushing. He says "lets go, baby" quietly, biting his lip, offering his hand. I take it and he mumbles "today, I don't care, I want to hold your hand" and I mumble "you do whatever you want, baby." He pulls me in, dancing with me slowly, and mumbles "you sure you don't have time?" I hit his chest mumbling "stop it" smiling as I blush. I mumble "I want to stay like this forever" and he mumbles "me too" kissing me softly and passionately like he really doesn't want me to go. I mumble "I know, baby, I know" rubbing his back and he says "I can't do this without you" and I say "you are so strong, you will be ok, love." He buries his face in my chest and I wrap my arms around his neck, resting my hand on the back of his head. I'm trying to stay strong for him, I feel the same way but if we both are like this, it's gonna be harder to leave. I mumble "hey, you'll be ok, I promise" and I kiss his head and he leans up and kisses me, leaning his forehead against mine. He grips my hips and I say "what's wrong, baby?" He says "I guess I'm scared that you'll move on when you get out and you'll forget about me" quietly and not making eye contact. I say "I never would do that, baby" kissing his forehead. I say "I don't want to leave either but this isn't a place to come and stay awhile" and he laughs quietly. I rest my hand on his cheek saying "I don't want to leave you" quietly and he looks at me, then kisses me, and I say "think of it this way, you're getting better for everyone else rather than leaving early to be with me sooner." He quietly says "you're right, lets go" and he grabs my hand, squeezes then lets go. I smile and we go to breakfast and Brian says "it's your last day, boy! How do you feel?" I say "ready to sleep in my own bed" chuckling and we sit down, Rafe sitting close to me, making me smile. I rest my hand on his thigh, Derek saying "I'll miss you, you're my favorite person here" and Brian says "rude." Jasmine says "you aren't my favorite anymore, Derek" and the blonde that came in a couple weeks ago, Blaire, says "you're my favorite too, Morgan, we all will miss you" and Rafe mumbles "some more than others" and I say "you poor thing" rubbing his thigh and squeezing gently. He rests his head on my shoulder and I move my hand to his back, rubbing his back slowly, and he mumbles "I love your hands" and I smile. Rafe mumbles "I want you here forever" and Jasmine says "its another visiting day" and I say "gross" and we chuckle. Rafe mumbles "shit, I think my dad is coming" and I say "really?" He nods saying "I hope he's not coming" and I say "me too" rubbing his back and he says "worst day ever" quietly and I say "I know" rubbing his back. He wraps his arm around my waist, playing with my waistband mindlessly, and we eat. Then we go to the room where all the visits take place and everyone comes in and Rafe mumbles "that's my dad." I mumble "what's he doing here?" He says "no idea" quietly and I mumble "whatever he says, you can't leave, you're still working on yourself, ok?" He nods and I kiss his cheek mumbling "I gotta go pack, I'll be back in a few minutes, ok?" He nods and I go to pack all my shit and I sneak off to Rafes room to steal one of his sweatshirts. It's a gray zip up that's even a bit big on him and I love it then I go out and they give me my phone and all my other shit they had to confiscate off me like my car keys and my house key. I sit next to Rafe mumbling "I gotta go, ok?" He nods saying "give me a second" to his dad and gets up and we walk away and he pulls me close mumbling "is that my sweatshirt?" I say "maybe, I stole it" and he says "I see that cause you didn't ask me for it" us chuckling. I mumble "I love you, I'll be in in a week, ok?" He kisses me mumbling "I love you too" and I wave at everyone and I leave, trying not to get too in my head about anything. My mom meets me in the waiting room and she says "how are you feeling?" I say "ok" us going to her car and we get in and as soon as the doors shut I just sob. I love that boy and I don't know what I'm gonna do without him.