I Swear I Meant To Mean The Best [RAFE]{BXB}(OUTERBANKS)

5

Morgan's POV
I go to talk to a therapist cause I'm literally required to do so. I sit across from this guy and he says "hows it going?" I say "alright, you?" He says "I'm alright" smiling and he says "so, you're a few days clean now, have you had any thoughts of wanting to change that?" I say "no" and he says "does something in your head tell you to do it or does something external trigger you to self harm?" I say "it's normally someone doing something to trigger an anxiety attack then, you know what happens after that" quietly. He nods, writing something down, and he says "so, you don't self harm because of depression, its out of wanting to chill out? Like wanting to come down from an attack?" I say "yes" nodding and he keeps asking questions of all the little details for another hour. Now I can leave. I leave the room and I go to find Rafe. He's in the main room Rwhere everyone else is and I go in, him saying "where'd you go?" I say "therapy" and he says "how enjoyable" and I sit next to him. I say "you look spaced, you ok?" He nods saying "just thinking" and I say "about what?" He says "whether Sarah will think I've improved when I see her next week" quietly and I say "I think she will" nodding and he quietly says "I hope so" burying his face in his hands. He looks at me and one of the nurses come in and say "what movie do we want to watch tonight?" Brian says "High School Musical" and we all chuckle and Jasmine says "can we watch Aladdin?" Derek says "oooo, yeah" nodding and Rafe says "you remind me of my sister" looking at Jasmine. I nod and the nurse says "lets do that then, after dinner, we will watch Aladdin" and she walks out. I say "I haven't seen Aladdin in years" and Jasmine says "really? I see it all the time" and Derek says "every couple months we watch it." Rafe says "didn't they make a new one with Will Smith that's live action?" I nod saying "I think so" Jasmine says "we should watch it unless A Whole New World isn't in it" and I say "it is" nodding and I say "I was thinking the same thing when it came out and I just never watched it." We all nod, silently saying "we've never seen it" and we all agree to watch that one instead of the original. Derek says "I heard that ones terrible but I want to see it" and Rafe says "I never really watched Disney movies growing up" quietly. I say "really?!" He says "yeah, Sarah loved them but I wasn't really a movie kid, I did watch a lot of TV though. It's not that my father didn't want me watching it, its just that it wasn't something I did. Definitely watched them a lot when my youngest sister was growing up and I was just bored all the time during that time of my life." I say "how many siblings do you have?" He says "two, Sarah and Wheezie, don't worry its a nickname. Two sisters, both are younger" smiling a little bit and looking down. I look at him and he says "hey" and I chuckle saying "hey" blushing. Rafe mumbles "hey, I wouldn't be able to do this without you" kissing my cheek then he gets up and walks away. I blush and Brian says "what are you blushing about?" I say "nothing" as the door shuts behind Rafe and I smile, biting my lip as I watch him leave. Jasmine says "that's bullshit" and I say "shut up" shaking my head and they chuckle and Derek says "I might go take a nap." I say "that sounds like a nice idea" smiling and we all chuckle and Brian says "for sure" yawning. I say "nap time" getting up and going to my room then I fall asleep. Around here its so overwhelming that I feel like I need a nap everyday, its all just sensory overload here for me but its the kind of sensory overload that I don't mind. It still tires me out though.
A few hours later
I get up and fix my hair then I hang out for a little while in my room until theres a knock and I say "come in." The nurse says "were gonna go watch a movie if you want to join us" smiling and I say "alright, can you show me where it is?" She nods and I get ready to leave my room again and I see Rafe and he comes over to me saying "where are we going?" I say "I'm following her, come with me" quietly and we follow the nurse that was just in my room. We go to this other room with nicer couches and a giant screen and I mumble "these are nice couches" laying down. I then sit up and Rafe sits next to me and I mumble "you never told me why you were here." He says "its that time now?" I say "I'm just curious" quietly and he quietly says "I'm not in my right frame of mind, I'm getting there just after being here for a couple days. The reason they put me in here was me hitting Sarah while I was high, that was her last straw even though her last straw should've been a long time ago, she has a lot of patience. Dad thinks I'm fine, so its really up to her. Did cocaine for a year or so, first it was just at parties then it turned into an addiction. Step mom caught me with it a few times and didn't put me in rehab or anything. Dad wants to keep our perfect image and he's so desperate to do that but you cant have the image he wants when you have a kid with my issues."