I Swear I Meant To Mean The Best [RAFE]{BXB}(OUTERBANKS)

4

Morgan's POV
The nurse follows him and I wait a second then I go to see him on the phone, clearly stressed. I rub his back and I hear a guy say "I'm gonna get you out of there" and Rafe says "dad, I don't think you get it, I-I need help." His dad says "you need to msn up and get over yourself, Rafe. You don't belong in there." Rafe says "this is the thing I need right now, dad" a couple tears coming down his cheeks. His dad says "man up, Rafe, you are fine." I mumble "do you want a hug?" He nods and I pull him in as he shakily talks to his dad. His dad is just yelling and I mumble "hang up" and Rafe mumbles "can't" and I say "do you want me to?" He nods and I grab the phone, hanging up, and I put it back on the wall and Rafe pulls away from me and says "I'm only answering this phone if its not my dad" to the nurse that stands there to monitor. She nods and walks away and he wraps his arms around my waist tightly, resting his head on my shoulder. He says "I've never been good enough for him and I never will be" and I say "you only have to be good for yourself" quietly. He mumbles "I'm not even good enough for myself yet" and I say "well, you'll get there" quietly, rubbing his back. A nurse walks by saying "Rafe, you aren't allowed to have physical touch for the first week because of one of the reasons of how you got here." Rafe pulls away saying "I'm not hurting him! I'm not doing anything wrong! I'm being careful! I'm sober! I can't do much more of what y-you're telling me too before something bad happens, ok?" The nurse says "I am following orders, telling you what to do are orders I'm given, and you have to follow what I'm giving you. You can bring it up with someone else but I can't lay off of you, Rafe, cause I'm screwed if I don't." She keeps doing her job and I look at Rafe and he just looks tired and lost and he says "I'm going to bed" quietly. I say "bye" biting my lip and he looks down, mumbling "bye" looking up and down the hallway then he kisses my cheek. I blush madly and smiles, looking down and walks away. I'm just a blushing mess and I go to the main room where everyone's hanging out and Brian whistles saying "what's got you blushing like that?" I say "don't worry about it" looking up at the ceiling and I mumble "this ceiling is really cool" and Brian says "now you realize?" We laugh and I say "yes" chuckling and I say "its really cool" us all chuckling. Someone painted patterns on the ceiling and I mumble "rainbow" and Brian says "my brother painted it" and I say "its so cool." We chuckle after he says "you're easily mesmerized" and I say "yeah, the colors are pretty." Jasmine says "this is my favorite room here" and I say "how long have you guys been here?" Derek says "two years" and Brian quietly says "three" and Jasmine says "three" and I say "do you ever see your families or anything?" Brian says "not so much anymore but yeah, they don't want me out of here because they think I'm gonna do it again even though I'm two years clean from self harm, had an incident a couple years ago, thats why they're so careful with sharp objects in rooms nowadays." I say "they don't even let me have a pen or paper" and he says "used a pen in that incident, I almost died" quietly. Brian says "they're paranoid and I think they're done with me, so waiting till I turn eighteen, gonna sign myself out of here then I'm gonna go be like 'what the hell, man?' To my parents" smiling and we chuckle and I say "I love that for you" and Jasmine says "I'm not at a full recovery and I don't think I ever will be and my parents didn't know what to do for me so I'm here." Derek says "same, sorry we don't got sob stories like pretty boy over here" and we chuckle. I say "my moms over my bullshit, so I'm here, she gave me one chance but now she's over it, so here I am. She's probably not gonna come see me for awhile" and Brian says "you'd be surprised" looking at me and I nod and shrug. I mumble "I'm tired, I'm going to bed for the night" and they all say goodnight and I go into my room. I get ready for bed and I think about Rafe, wondering if he's ok.
The next day
I get up and I go to breakfast and I sit next to Rafe saying "hey" and he says "morning, how am I going to live without coffee in here? I'm going through enough withdrawal as is, I don't need a caffeine withdrawal too" running his hand through his hair. Derek says "you get addicted to hot chocolate instead, so you live off of sugar instead of caffeine." Rafe says "you're smart" and Derek says "I'm an ex coffee addict, I feel you" and Rafe says "I feel so slow right now and like death." Brian says "what are you withdrawing from, pretty boy? Golf?" Rafe says "you piss me off" rubbing his forehead and Brian says "ok, I'm curious now, what are you withdrawing from?" He says "cocaine, I feel like I'm dying" folding his arms on the table and putting his head down. I bite my lip saying "hey" quietly and he mumbles "hey" and I mumble "Rafe, if you need anything, just ask" and he mumbles "I'm ok" smiling tiredly and I rub his back as he just works through right now, we can work through the rest of his shit later.