Bluebird

3

November 15, 2010

She took her birthday off, she always did. Today she was 24 years old and she was comfortable, by herself on the couch. Garrett was out with Blake and Samantha was out with William. She didn't care that she was by herself. She quite enjoyed it actually. She got to eat her cupcake in peace and she got to watch what she wanted to on their only TV. She had her blonde waves up in a clip and she was wearing a light grey, white, and pink color block long sleeve dolman sleeve shirt and a pair of black leggings curled up on the couch when Samantha walked in her eyes pretty much bulged out of her head.

"What's the matter with you?" 

"Why are you here Aren't you supposed to be singing?" Samantha asks.

"It's my birthday..." She trails off.

"Oh my god, Annabel, I'm so sorry I..." 

"I don't really give a shit. I hate celebrating it anyway, I'm just another year older it's not that big of a deal. But why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" 

"William invited me to Hawaii for Christmas. I guess his family is going to be leave on December 17th and they're staying there until the 30th, because his dad has to be in New York for New Years." 

"Are you going to go?" Annabel asks.

"Should I...I mean, Hawaii." 

"You were going to spend the holidays together." 

"Yeah, but this is going to be with him, his parents, and his sisters." Samantha starts pacing.

"What are you worried about?"

"That they're going to like kidnap me. I don't know."

"See if Garrett will go with you." 

"No, not Garrett, that's a disaster waiting to happen." 

"He's your brother." Annabel shifts to a sitting up position on the couch. 

"Exactly, he'll be weird about..Hah!" 

"What?" Annabel asks.

"You could go. Moe's been telling you to take a vacation for years." 

"Sam, I'm not going to go to Hawaii with you...I can't afford a ticket let alone a hotel room." 

"His family owns a house out there so you won't be paying for a hotel room. Just like Souveniers and a plane ticket and your own meals. Come on Annabel..Please....please....please." She begs giving little puppy dog eyes. She knows they're Annabel's weakness because she's used them on her since she was little.

"Before you do anything. Sit down and talk with William and his parents and make sure it's okay with them. Now, Leo DiCaprio is back on." She points to the TV were Titanic was playing.

"You're watching Titanic on your birthday...how depressed are you?" 

"Very, now shoo or be quiet." 

***

In Brentwood, Los Angeles California, Lindsey Buckingham found himself in his studio staring at the only picture he has of her. It was right after she was born and she was getting weighed. She was covered in Stevie's blood and white gunk but she still looked really cute and just like her mother. 

He can remember that day vividly. Stevie had been so excited to have this baby. She had regretted her abortion with Don's baby in 1979, and another subsequent abortion in January of 1986 with Joe Walsh's baby and she had previously had a miscarriage with his baby in 1974. Well, it wasn't a miscarriage it was an ectopic pregnancy. They were able to save her ovary but the baby had to be sacrificed. She had tried to abort their little Annabel, and Lindsey went with her. Wasn't happy about it, but he went with her and they were just about to start when she stopped them. She couldn't do it because she really wanted that baby. And she was 38 so it's not like she had a lot of time left. 

It was the 80s, so they didn't know if it was a boy or a girl and when it was announced that it was a little girl Stevie was so happy. She loved her and doted on her. But only a few hours later their world was shattered. The doctor had told them that he was worried about her weight. Babies should be about six pounds and she was barely four. And she was born a month early so despite being heathy they had do take extra precautions.  She was also extremely angry. She being little Annabel. They didn't know that they had taken the baby's blood to test it, but when the social worker came in with said doctor the doctor told them it was protocol. He and Stevie both failed their drug tests. Marijuana wasn't the problem. Stevie's cocaine habit was and when the social worker saw that Stevie was breast feeding her she took her off of Stevie's nipple and Stevie was so upset about it. She threatened to sue and Annabel was crying because her meal had been interrupted but the social worker told them that Stevie still had cocaine in her blood stream which meant it was in her milk and her addiction was causing the baby to be addicted and then she walked out of the room. They never saw Annabel again. 

In hindsight they should've sued. But the doctor told them they could be reunited if they got clean and when they did get clean the asshole social worker that pulled the baby off of Stevie while she was breastfeeding said she had sent her away and didn't  know where she was. He had never seen Stevie so upset before and she almost drank herself to death that night because she just wanted her baby.

***

In the Pacific Palisades, Stevie was curled up in bed cuddled around a little teddy bear that was meant to be Annabel's and her own picture of Annabel and she was just sobbing. Karen knows that on November 15th, Stevie doesn't leave the room to eat or work so she takes the day off. Lori and Sharon do come over though on that day and they just sit there with her and rub her back. The day that Annabel was taken from her was the day that her heart was ripped out of her chest. It was also the day that she lost Lindsey. Their relationship hasn't been the same since. And then William came in 1991 and Leelee came in 93 and Stella in 2000 and she lost him for good when he finally married the woman that was able to give him those three children. 

She would never forgive herself because it was her stupid mistakes that caused them to lose everything. She knew that her addiction wasn't good for her pregnancy but she just couldn't stop herself and she lost her baby because of it and it kills her every single year, and has been for the last 24 years.