Bluebird

14

September 13, 2011

Being back in Salt Lake City felt odd, plain and simple. She had agreed to go on tour with Lindsey and now they were back in her old stomping grounds. They were only there for one night. They left Idaho at eight in the morning. Got to Utah at ten. And they couldn't check in until  four and Lindsey didn't have sound check until five so he had asked her to bring him around to some of her hang out places. So they settled for lunch at The Park Cafe and now they were driving up to the house that Annabel grew up in. 

"This is where you grew up? It's nice." Lindsey smiles his hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

"It's crazy being back here. It's almost been ten years." 

"It's okay." Lindsey assures kissing her temple as they make their way to the front door. 

She knocks politely and is greeted by a middle aged woman wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She gawks when she sees Lindsey Buckingham and then she looks between the pair.

"Hi, my name is Annabel Bekker. My parents owned this house about eleven years ago. When they died I sold it." 

"We've been here for about five years now...So you sold it to the Parkers then?" 

"Yeah, yeah I did...I know you don't know me, but I was wondering if I could just look around?" 

She takes a moment and looks at Annabel. "Well, I don't see why not. Walk me through the house." 

Annabel smiles and gingerly enters the house. The house was relatively unchanged except for the furniture she gave a little Mini tour detailing important moments of her life. There was a fire place in the family room where she fell and hit her chin and had to get her chin super glued. Up the stairs, in the bedroom that was right at the base of the stairs, it was a tiny bedroom but it had been hers. She showed them the spot where she had spilt fruit punch and you'd never know it because of professional carpet cleaners. She did her homework in that room and that's where she learned to play guitar. 

Out in the back was the in-ground pool where she learned to swim and an oak tree were she claimed her 'favorite dog, Star, was buried' 

"Why did you want to come back?" the owner of the house questions as they converse on the front porch after Annabel's brief visit. 

"I don't know, There's a lot going on in my life right now that I'm struggling to grasp. A lot of decisions I have to make. Changes I'm going through. I just thought it'd be nice you know." She shrugs.

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you. And Mr. Buckingham, we'll be at the show tonight."

"Really! Well, it was nice to meet you. Can I take a picture with you or sign something?" Lindsey asks.

"Would you take a picture with me and sing my husband's records? He'd be so thrilled?" 

"Of course." Lindsey nods. He places his hand on Annabel's lower back and excuses himself before he follows the woman back into the house. 

When she's alone, Annabel just takes a deep breath and she places her hand on the front porch railing taking it all in. 

***

Annabel had been working tirelessly in Lindsey's dressing room while he was performing and when he walked back in after the show wiping his face with a towel he looked at her.

"What have you been doing all night?"

"Writing. It's cathartic." 

'Well, I know that." Lindsey nods.

'"I just had a lot that I needed to get off my chest is all." Annabel shrugs.

"Play it for me when we get back to the hotel?" 

"Sure." She nods.

He smiles at her and then goes into the bathroom to shower off from the show. She knows the drill. He comes off the stage wiping his face and then he takes a quick five minute shower and he changes his clothes. Ray Lindsey comes in and cleans up after him and then they leave. It's not different that night, and when they finally get back to the hotel and she takes her own shower, Lindsey looks at her.

"Play it for me?" 

"It's not all accurate." She looks down at the guitar.

"It doesn't have to be accurate. It just has to come from the heart. Does it come from the heart?"

"Yeah, yeah it does." She nods.

"So play It for me." 

I know they say you can't go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma'am, I know you don't know me from Adam
But these hand prints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothin' but a memory
From the house that built me

Momma cut out pictures of houses for years
From better homes and garden magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
And nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to momma's dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothin' but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home, you move on
And you do the best you can
I got lost in this 'ole world
And forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could walk around I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothin' but a memory
From the house that built me