Chapter 21- Home...

2.3K 57 11
                                    

I laid my body down on my bed, replaying how I was hoping this conversation with Loki was going to be a success... well at least from my side.

Licking my lips in nervousness to up my confidence I crawl under the bed sheets and lay my head on the pillow. Honestly I thought of this scene and it's possibilities too many times not to be thinking about it all damn day. 

Taking a couple deep breaths, I close my eyes, feel myself relax and sink on the softness of the mattress.

Exhaling in relaxation and concentration, I feel my body sinking deeper and deeper like comfortable quicksand swallowing me alive inch by inch until I don't feel that same softness of my mattress, but two arms cradling my waist fondly.

Loki nuzzled his nose in my collarbone as I came down from my high of the quicksand sensation.

At a sudden moment I remember the oath I swore to myself, and stumbled out of his arms half-heartedly, only wanting to be in them more as I glance at him, the hurt on his face was visibly aching my heart as I swallow the hurt and speak up.

I look at the floor, collecting myself and avoiding his broken expression... as I started...

"Loki...I have to tell you this... " I say, barely above a whisper.

"Of course, darling," He said, confusion clouding his voice, making it crack slightly.

Not daring to even steal a quick glance at his captivating eyes I complete,"I was thinking about the offer you offered me a couple months ago. And yes, you were right yesterday... I can't go by a day were I don't regret or doubt the decision I had made when I declined. But... Loki... I can't possibly risk cracking my heart again by joining you and... maybe start something with you for you to rip it open again," I was getting dizzy, and my vision blurred with tears as the cruel memories all flooded back, I clenched my fists and lifted them up to my chest, holding my  little shrunk-up aching heart in them," I'll be back to square one with that. It was horribly awful, Loki..."

Loki rushed to my side and cradled me as I choked on my sobs and cries, my eyes squeezing shut, my heart displayed in my fists, clutching it with all my might to keep it from unraveling it's bandages I wrapped around it all throughout the years I had spent in this torturous state.

"Darling... look at me..." he said as I obeyed and lifted my sight to his and found those blue green eyes looking back at me lovingly and full of sympathy," I will never pressure you to start anything with me unless you really want it... And don't worry about me... I'll wait for you if I have to, I just want you to trust me, my love, and I would never do such cruel things to you..." Loki said as his eyes flashed with sincerity.

As he said these words, relief took over my heartache. His arms unwrapped themselves from around me as I shooed away the urge to kiss him for understanding my hopelessness, instead I hug him tightly, almost fearing I might kill him as he gladly accepted it.

"Now... just about the thing you said first... about my offer?" He reminded me.

"Oh, yes, that. I want to join you Loki... but what about the others?" I said, wiping my tears.

"The... others?"

"Yeah... the team. I think I've developed a liking towards them... even though they don't really trust me yet." I explained.

"I'll ask you one thing, darling," Loki said,"Do you feel like home there, or here?"

"I'll ask you one thing, darling," Loki said,"Do you feel like home there, or here?"

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Lmao sry had to 😅

SnakerWhere stories live. Discover now