Diurna Times

↳ You Are Not Alone

Written by: 9ice_for_what
Banner by: duskylilacs

Imagine this.

For several years, life has treated you unfairly. You feel that nobody likes you, your family is struggling economically, and academically, you're lagging behind; your teachers have given up on you. You have a friend who supports you nonetheless and tries to make you feel better. Yet, you believe that hope is gone.

What even is the essence of your existence anymore?

You barely remember what you are taught in school everyday yet you seem to never forget the bullies and their words because they leave lasting marks on your heart.

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. It is now 11:37pm on a Friday night. You are seated on the bathroom floor, a knife in your right hand. You are ready to put an end to all the suffering. After tonight, there would be no more bullies. Aer tonight, your parents' financial burdens will be reduced. And aer today, your teachers would not have to worry about explaining to the principal why a student keeps failing.

Of course we know a knife only does what it is told so you point its dangerously sharp edge at your chest and take what you would like to call your final breath. As you dig the knife into your chest, the scarlet blood lashes over the bathroom walls and floor, painting the scene in which you would be found dead. You are recreating the death scene in a play you starred in not long ago, except that this time it happens in a bathroom and it is not a murder.
Just like that, you become nonexistent. One less problem in the world.

Or so you think.

It's now 8:46am on the day aer your death. Your father is very happy this morning. He just got accepted for a job that pays well and he plans to spill the beans about it at breakfast. Your mum is still getting dressed while your dad is setting the table downstairs. Soon, your mum comes downstairs and they settle down. They never eat breakfast without you whenever you are around so your mum yells your name several times from the living room.

You don't answer.

She laughs at your silliness and makes a joke about how you're probably hiding or something knowing that you have never been a heavy sleeper. Little does she know that you've gone into an eternal sleep. Your mum does not find you in your room so her next stop would be the bathroom of course.
She opens the door and her eyes widen at the sight in front of her - the blood of her own child. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath hoping that when she opens her eyes you'd be awake and tell her she was hallucinating.

But you don't.

She finally finds her mouth and screams, dropping to the ground and taking your lifeless body in her arms. Your dad comes over to see what happened and is beyond shocked to see you on the bathroom floor. Together they cry over your lifeless body thinking about where they went wrong and how they are going to use their hands to bury their only child.
It is now Monday. The whole school knows about your death. The students think it's sad that you took your own life, they wonder if there was anything worth fighting for. The bully is not remorseful- they think you are weak for giving up just like that. Your teachers are terribly unhappy about this because they always told you that you had potential. They feel like there is more to the matter. And your friend?

They are missing. They went missing right aer the news was communicated to them. They probably don't know how to react.

The day of your funeral is here. Your extended family, classmates, teachers and other people are present. Everyone is dressed in black and is here to mourn your death. You lie still, in a casket which will soon be six feet under. Your nose and ears are plugged, blocking you away from the reality you never were in.