Taming Jane

Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty – One

Jane groaned in frustration as she threw her head back into the pillow. “I don’t know anything!” she cried. “You’re telling me things that I’m supposed to know but I don’t!”

“Jane,” Emilia said tenderly. “You know these things; you just need to be reminded.”

Jane had heard it all from Dr Remington the day before. He had told them that her memory might come back or it might not. He’d said the brain was unpredictable and that by telling her stories of what she should remember might trigger the memory.

It was after noon and Jane had been listening to stories for hours and instead of helping her, it was just frustrating her. The stories that she was in were completely foreign to her. She had no idea what they were talking about it that only scared her further. It made her feel like she would live the rest of her life with a black hole in her head.

“Emilia,” Jane tried to say calmly. “I’m trying, I promise you I am. But I don’t know you or your children and I don’t think I ever will. All you’re doing is making things worse, could you please just leave me alone?” she begged lethargically.

Emilia nodded, standing up looking a little hurt. “I’m sorry I upset you. Just know, Jane, before your accident, you were my sister.”

Jane felt immediately guilty for snapping at her. “I like you, I do, you’re a very nice person and I can see why we were such good friends. I think if you and I just had a ‘getting to know you’ conversation we could be friends once more. But like I said, the things that you’re telling me only make me frustrated with myself. I don’t remember these stories.”

“I apologise,” Emilia said sadly. “I’ll let you get some rest, I’ll have some tea brought you for you in a bit, and perhaps a tub. I’m sure you’d like to bathe.”

Jane managed a small smile and nodded. She still was not used to all the fine things around her. Her brother acted as though receiving tea on a silver tray was the norm. It was so strange for her. Her brother was suddenly a nobleman ... he’d always been a gentleman but now he had a title.

And then there was Lord Southerby. He was a puzzle that Jane could not solve. Her mother had suggested to her that there was a budding courtship between them but she felt far too insecure with herself to believe that someone as handsome and as rich as him would choose some country girl from Yorkshire over all the fabulous ladies that lived in London. If Emilia was anything to go by then he could do much better than plain Jane.

The gap in her memory frustrated her so. The stories she was told about her missing six years just seemed like it was another person and not her. She’d been a bridesmaid at Emilia’s wedding. She’d been present for the birth of both Little J and Annie. She’d had a season in London when she was nineteen and had made a fool of herself ... that one she believed as she wasn’t the most graceful and delicate girl around. But all these stories didn’t help her. It was as if someone was telling her the future and not the past because to her it didn’t feel as though they’d happened yet.