Chapter 123: brought to you by the renaissance snake

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And now, in the season finale of "I Want Dem Babiez," baby snakes realize they aren't alone in the forest where they're supposed to be apex predators (besides their father) and panic. The fish in the ocean realize there are giant streaks of playful red death and panic. And author of Shay sees an ending to her seemingly endless backlog of chapters and begins to panic. Husband sees her laying on the couch like a dead thing with blank eyes and begins to panic, but that's just because he panics easily. She's only tired and crampy from starting her period. BUT PANIC!

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When Lazy Boi wasn't hunting, patrolling, or practicing other skills that he imagined he'd used one day to slay his foes, life could get pretty boring. If it was sunny, he'd sunbathe and nap, but you could only do so much of that. He'd work on his den building skills, which he had grown rather proud of. He'd even made himself a particularly well-done den beneath the roots of a giant tree which had grown crooked over the years of being beaten by hurricane winds. He tried to line it with stones like his mother had for his father's den, but not having hands made the work difficult and crude. In the end, he made do with grasses, as his father had recommended. When he was particularly bored, he'd attempt a bit of decoration, thinking to himself that when the day finally came that he would meet his true love, the home he'd bring her to would be more beautiful and comfortable than she had known.

It was on such a day, while pondering what to do with some particularly pretty shells he'd found, that Freckles and Stars meandered up the hill from the coast.

"Come plaaaaay," Freckles hissed.

"Yeah yeah yeah!" added Stars.

"Did you guys seriously just leave your territories unguarded for this?" he asked.

"Nothing's going on," said Stars.

"Merfolk come from the water," said Freckles. "We could play in the water. Run and catch with one who is it. Keep eye out."

"It's called tag," said Lazy Boi, at a loss for his brothers' apparent lack of intellect. "And there are other things besides merfolk. What would happen if we let something pass?"

"Dad would kill," said Freckles.

"Yeah!" piped Star, the forever Yes-man. "Dad would kill good!"

"That's not the point. He lets us be here because we help out."

"Nah, it's because mom loves us," said Freckles.

"Yeah! Mom wants us!"

He wanted to tell them how that way of thinking would come around to bite them in the butt someday, as it had for him, but already knew his two brothers would just come up with some other excuse, or ignore that he had spoken entirely.

"Come on, it's boring with just two!" said Freckles. "You owe us for telling you how to make up to dad."

"Yeah! Owe us!"

"It won't be all day, it's just for a bit."

"Just for a bit!"

"Have a thought of your own!" he snapped at Stars, who recoiled, but stayed put, eyes sparkling like an expectant dog.

Lazy Boi rubbed the top of his head along the opening of his den in exasperation. But he couldn't ignore the tingling happiness inside of him at the thought of play. Fighting against loneliness was a constant struggle for him. The only comfort he got, outside of spending time with his family, was daydreaming of the future where he'd have a mate of his own to keep him company all the time.

"Fine," he spat, flicking his shells back into his den.

Freckles and Stars cheered and whizzed back down the hill. Lazy Boi followed after them with a barely concealed smile. He made sure to rub his scent on the bushes and trees on the way. It helped quell some of his guilt.

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