Stans sister

13

Sutton Stan
Pov

April 2012

⚠️TW: eating disorders, panic attacks⚠️

I woke up from a call from my mom and i picked up and she told me to go and get sebby up and put her on speaker phone because she had news and I didn't know what she meant but i did as she told me and once we were up we went to the kitchen where i called mum and put her on speaker and she said "right you will need to move in a couple months" and i gave Seb a weird look

" what do you mean mom?"

"Well if you let me finish i would explain why" she sassily said and then continued with "Berlin, thats where you're needed, they want you to play Liesel in the book thief" she practically yelled down the phone and i was screaming on the other end

"no way, i love that book" i turned to sebby and hugged him once i found out " when do i need to move?" I asked mom

"At the start of next month" she said quietly

"But thats like next week" i say

"Yes, you get this premiere then you have to pack and fly out" she stated bluntly, the call quickly ended after that and i turned to Seb and asked him "who will be with me in Berlin?"

"Honestly I don't know, i have to stay here and mom is busy with work so you might be on your own" he said quietly

"Oh, that'll be fun i guess" I mumble
We both stood in the kitchen before Seb started to play music and dance about and he grabbed my hands and made me dance with him and he called it the celebration dance which i agreed was very fitting.

Seb and i had a very chill day today because tomorrow we were busy all day with the premiere.

This morning i was awoken by the doorbell buzzing on repeat and once i was alive and out of my bed i went to answer it "alright alright I'm coming" i yell at the people behind the door un knowingly it was Jen and Charles who were here to do my hair and makeup. I let them in and they began to set up in the living room and eventually my dearest brother came downstairs looking rather smug and thats when it clicked he made me get the door this morning. "You made me get the door" i say with a playful shove. 
"Noo I wouldn't do that to you" he says with a smirk and at that point i gave up with it. I was making breakfast for myself when i was called to my hair chair.

Charles showed me the inspiration for this hair look and it was just some loose curls which i really liked because it meant I didn't have to have pins in my head that were really painful. While Charles got on with the hair i sat and ate my breakfast that sebby had finished making for me and i was munching away until the guilt hit me and I realised how much i had eaten when I shouldn't i needed to look perfect in this dress and perfect meant skinny enough and I wasn't i wanted to look like those Victoria Secret models i needed to look like them.

I think sebby noticed my thinking and he interrupted my thoughts by asking "Sutton are you ok?" It had been like this since the panic attack "sebby I'm fine don't worry" i reassured him. Charles soon enough finished my hair and Jen started to prep my face for the makeup which was just a glowing bronzey look which i really liked because it meant not too much makeup. Whilst she was doing her thing for my face she also had to work on sebbys face so he was sat opposite in a makeup chair and we were chatting and i almost forgot we had this premiere which was good it filled me with nerves and i was just so scared. Once the makeup was done i headed to the big bathroom where i could get changed into my dress so i had the garment bag in one hand and a coffee in the other and i thought to myself 'this is a bad combo' so i put the coffe onto the table and took the dress with me. Once i got to the bathroom i put on the nude bodysuit that goes underneath the dress and sorted the straps out because they were too loose. I then stood in the dress that was in a pool around my feet and pulled it up my body and i then called Jen in so she could zip me up and help me with the shoes because I can't bend down cause of the style of the dress. Once the shoes were on, they were just nude heels with some small ankle straps because otherwise i was likely to trip and fall in these heels or any heels to be honest.

Once i was ready and my makeup was touched up Jen walked out and called seb over so he could see me first and i heard the door creaking open before i took steps out of the bathroom and i saw seb at the end of the small hallway in the house and he was dressed in a dark blue suit blazer and trousers and he wore a black dress shirt underneath and he left the top button undone and it suited him, "sebby, you look cute" i said in a joking term knowing he hated when i called him cute and he returned the compliment in a reaction rather than words he started to cry before he spoke "Sutton i'm so proud of who you have become, you are a talented young woman" it was enough to set me off too but i knew I couldn't cry because i would be yelled at by Jen for ruining the makeup but i did half run in heels to him and i hugged him trying not to get makeup on his suit blazer and we eventually made it out to the black SUV that marvel had sent us.

In the car i felt the nerves creeping up on me again and i felt my leg start to shake and my hand started to shake as well as my leg and Seb noticed and held my hands and took a deep breath in with me and a deep breath out which helped me a bit. Once we pulled up i saw a few clicks through the window and it really set me off and i felt my breaths becoming more and more shallow and that was when the doors were getting opened and i immediately grabbed my handle and closed the door because i knew I couldn't let the public see me like this. As i tried to take deep breath's i felt tears spill out and i mentally cursed myself for being like this. My hands went numb and I couldn't feel my legs as my eyes unfocused and i zoned out and any noise i heard sounded like someone was yelling right next to my ear so i sat and covered my ears. Seb had left the car because he went and spoke to Joss who directed the film so he could warn them about us being late. When Seb got back into the car i had begun to calm down and i said to Seb "i want to do the red carpet"

"Are you sure?" He tried to ask me and I interrupted with

"yes i'm sure lets go" whilst i cleared up my makeup quickly and opened the door an plastered a fake smile on my face.

On the red carpet i got through the paparazzi photos and i did one interview and it bought up that they had caught photos of me from when the door was opened in the car and that it was already all over the internet and i immediately said "if you'll excuse me i have to go an speak to my brother, thank you" I needed to speak to Seb but I couldn't find him and i began to panic again, "where is he?" i thought to myself i was distracted and I accidentally bumped into Chris Evans and he immediately saw the panic in my eyes. He helped calm me down and find Seb and i explained the situation and we walked and figured out how to deal with it. Eventually we made it into the film which i rather enjoyed and i was exited to be working with Marvel studios again.

Once we made it home I changed as soon as i could and i sat and ate my comfort food, cheerios before i went to sleep.

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That was a long one sorry.
-bitoff1bitofmarvel