Craving Normality - A Wilbur Soot Angst

Chapter 30

As soon as Wilbur left Tommy's room, he began to hyperventilate. Phil immediately ran up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

'Are you oka-'

'Don't touch me.' Wilbur spat, pushing past Phil and striding down the corridor as fast as he could, slamming his fist against the elevator button. The doors open and he pressed a button for a random floor. As the doors closed and the elevator started to move Wilbur heard Phil calling his name, but he didn't care. As soon as it stopped moving and the doors reopened Wilbur shoved past the people waiting and somehow through his tear-blurred eyes managed to locate a bathroom. He locked himself inside the small grey room and sunk to the floor, his back against the door, holding his head in his hands, his entire body heaving with sobs. He began to tear at his hair, desperate for some kind of pain, something to distract him from the hurricane taking place in his mind. He devolved to raking his fingernails down his face repeatedly and eventually calmed down enough to regulate his breathing. His ears were ringing and he looked at his hands, grimacing when he realised that his fingernails were caked with blood. He shakily stood up and looked in the mirror, only to see that his face was covered in dark red lines. His entire body began to shake – all he could think about was how his father had reacted when he'd seen the cuts on Wilbur's chest; the way he'd held him down and reopened them. The logical part of his brain was telling him that Phil wouldn't react in the same way, but he couldn't help the adrenaline that was shooting through his veins, filling him with terror. He heard someone knocking on the bathroom door and jumped, cowering against the far wall.

'Wil? Wilbur?' It was Phil.

He didn't reply, his heart pounding.

'Wilbur? Someone said they saw you come in here. The doctors gave me the key, I'm coming in, okay?'

Wilbur closed his eyes, feeling faint with dread.

He heard the door unlocking and sunk down into the far corner of the room, hugging his knees to his chest. As Phil approached, he raised his hands protectively above his head, preparing himself for the worst.

'Wil...'

Wilbur hesitantly looked upwards. 'Please don't be mad.' He whispered.

Phil crouched down so that he was at eye-level with Wilbur. 'I'm not mad. Tommy told me what happened. I'm really sorry, none of what he said is true.'

'But what if it is? He was right, it's m-my fault that he had to move schools, he wouldn't have been hurt if I'd just dealt with it.'

'That's-'

'And Dad was right, too. What he did to me was also my fault. He g-gave me so much, and I didn't ever give him anything in return, a-and that's all he ever asked for, and-'

'Stop it Wilbur.'

'I got bad grades, I didn't help with the bills, I didn't do anything, and I still made a fuss when he-'

'He abused you.'

'Yeah, but T-Tommy would be happier if we hadn't left-'

'It wasn't just you, Wilbur.'

'What do you m-mean?'

'I wasn't going to tell you this, but I think you should know. Tommy's been talking a lot to Kristen, asking a lot of questions, and it appears that-'

'Please no...' Wilbur muttered.

'He didn't rape him.' Phil said quickly. 'But he touched him inappropriately a few times. And he made comments, and showed him inappropriate videos. Kristen and I think he might have been conditioning him to take over your role once you realised what was happening wasn't right.'

Wilbur was silent.

'Tommy doesn't understand what was happening, and we definitely don't want to tell him while he's so vulnerable at the moment. But I thought you should know nothing you did hurt anyone. It was brave of you to tell Techno, and in doing so you saved Tommy from going through the same thing that you went through.'

'You... you're lying. He promised me he wouldn't.'

'I'm not lying.'

Wilbur buried his head in his hands. 'He... he said he w-wouldn't hurt Tommy if I...' he trailed off, sickened by the thought of his father hurting his little brother. 'I hate him.' He finished eventually.

A/N: I hope everyone who celebrates had a good christmas, and if you didn't i'm proud of you for getting through it.

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