Craving Normality - A Wilbur Soot Angst

Chapter 43

'I want to visit Dad.'

Techno choked on the biscuit he had been eating. 'I'm sorry?'

'I want to go and visit Dad in prison.' Wilbur nervously nibbled at the skin around his fingernails.

'Why would you want to do that?' Techno looked worried. 'Nothing bad is happening, right Wil?'

'No, nothing's happening. But I talked to Faye about it like a week ago and she thinks talking to him might help me find closure or something.' Wilbur paused. 'I've thought about it, and I think she might be right.'

Techno hesitated, his expression confused. 'Talk to him about what?'

'I don't really know.'

'I mean, if you want to go, I'll drive you. But I'm coming with you.'

'You can take me there, but I want to be alone when I talk to him.'

Techno shook his head. 'Not going to happen.'

'It's not like he's gonna do anything.'

'I'm not worried about what he'd do, I'm worried about what he'd say.' Techno responded apprehensively.

Wilbur thought for a moment. 'What's he gonna say that he hasn't already?'

Techno was silent. 'I... I can't watch you getting hurt by him again, Wil.'

'I won't.' Wilbur assured him.

'But he knows how to get under your skin. Promise you won't take anything he says seriously?'

'I promise.'

Techno opened his arms and wrapped Wilbur in a hug. 'I'm sorry this is something we even have to discuss. It's not fair, Wil.'

Wilbur just hugged his older brother tighter.

• • •

Tommy stared at his plate apprehensively. Pasta. One of his least favourite foods, not because of the taste but because he felt like each bite would add a tonne to the number under his feet. He picked up his fork slowly and spooned a mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth, swallowing it as if it were covered in spikes. Techno cleared his throat awkwardly. 'So, Tommy...' he began. 'Wil and I are going to visit Dad. Do you... do you wanna come?'

Tommy just stared at Techno in shock.

Techno nodded. 'I, uh, guess that's a no.'

'Why would you want to see him?' Tommy whispered. 'Don't you remember what he did to you, Wil? He ruined our lives.'

'I just wanna talk to him.' Wilbur answered.

Tommy shrugged. 'You do you. I'm gonna carry on pretending he never existed.'

'You know what, I might come with you guys if that's alright.' Phil announced.

'Yeah, of course.' Wilbur replied, slightly confused.

'I haven't seen him in years, think it might be time to give him a piece of my mind.' Phil explained.

• • •

Techno explained to Wilbur that criminals usually aren't allowed face-to-face visits with minors but, given the situation, the prison had decided to allow it this once. His father would be cuffed and Wilbur could choose to either have guards in the room with him or, if he preferred to have privacy, to be given a 'panic buzzer' that he could press if he needed help.

Wilbur felt sick with the anticipation of the visit. He was looking forward to the aftermath, praying that perhaps Faye was right, and this would give him the closure that he so desperately needed, but he was terrified to see his father.

• • •

'Wil? Do you wanna go in first or should Phil?' Techno asked softly. Wilbur was pale as a sheet of paper, his eyes bloodshot from sleep deprival; he hadn't slept at all the night before. Wilbur opened his mouth to reply but he was so nervous he couldn't get his words out and instead just pointed to Phil.

'Okay mate, I'll go first, but just remember that it's not too late to change your mind, okay? You don't have to see him.' Phil assured him and Wilbur nodded.

Phil walked into the small room with a stony expression, hands balled into tight, nervous fists, avoiding eye contact with his brother, who was sitting on a chair on the other side of the room. He sat down on the chair allocated to him and took a deep breath. 'You're a fucking monster, Mike.'

'Nice to see you too, Phil.' His brother responded with a chuckle.

Phil bit his tongue to stop himself from lashing out at his brother for having the nerve to laugh at a time like this. 'I hope you realise how much you've missed out on. You could have had such a good life, with such amazing kids, but instead you did this? They deserved so much better than you.' Phil spat, blinking away tears.

'He looks like his mother. I couldn't help it.'

Phil gagged when the sentence processed in his brain. He looked his brother up and down. 'God, you're disgusting.' And with that, he got up and left the room. His visit had lasted all of about thirty seconds, but he'd said what he needed to say – it wasn't worth wasting his time on such a pitiful excuse for a human being.

'Wilbur, are you sure you want to do this?'

'Y-yeah.' Wilbur said quietly, looking at the floor.

'There's no pressure. We're not going to judge you if you want to change your mind.' Techno added.

'No, I want to see him.' Wilbur said slightly louder this time and the two older men nodded anxiously in response.

'Son, remember to use that buzzer if you want some help, okay?' The prison guard who had been standing in the corner of the room reminded him and Wilbur nodded, clutching the buzzer tightly in his hand. He took a deep breath and opened the door, slipped into the room and sat in the chair facing his father.

A/N: I'm so so sorry for the long wait, I really lost motivation to write this book, but it's finished now - only one more chapter after this one.