Craving Normality - A Wilbur Soot Angst

Chapter 37

Wilbur and Tommy restarted school the next week – they discussed it with Phil and Techno and decided that it would be a good distraction, and a way of bringing a bit of normality back into their lives. All the boys that had been involved in attacking Tommy had been expelled, and he had been put into different classes with different people – it was an opportunity to start afresh. It was perfect timing, too – Techno returned to university at the same time as Wilbur and Tommy returned to school.

Wilbur nervously entered his first class. The teacher greeted him. 'William, right?

'Wilbur.' He muttered nervously.

'Got it. Why don't you go and sit next to Faye?' He pointed over to a girl with red hair who smiled at him. He anxiously sat next to her.

'Hi,' she whispered. 'Wilbur, right?'

He nodded.

'I'm Faye. This class isn't too bad. Mr Brightman's chill, and you seem cool.'

Wilbur didn't know how to respond so he smiled awkwardly.

Faye was kind and warm, and Wilbur was relieved to find out that she was clever as well – she let him copy all her answers. He'd never been any good at physics. They found out that they had several more lessons together, and at lunchtime she even invited him over to sit with her and her friends. Wilbur was relieved when he looked over to see Tommy sitting with a group of boys – thank God he wasn't alone.

• • •

Tommy was sick with nerves as he walked into his first lesson. The teacher instructed him to go and sit next to a shy-looking boy who informed him that his name was Jacob. He was chatty, and although he seemed genuinely nice, Tommy still felt terrified whenever it was his turn to talk – he felt like he was physically forcing the words out of his mouth, and he hated the way his voice was shaking with nerves.

The bell for lunch finally rang and Tommy realised that he had nowhere to go. He definitely didn't want to hide in the loos after what had happened last time he was there, and there was no way he was going to eat anything. He decided he would wait in line and pray that he saw Wilbur and maybe he would be able to sit with him. Tommy grabbed an apple when he got to the front of the queue and to his dismay he saw Wilbur sitting with a group of people. He was beginning to panic until he felt someone tap his shoulder. He jumped and turned around; it was Jake.

'Wanna come sit with us?'

Tommy nodded, relieved and headed over to their table, sitting down and looking around at the group of boys sat around the table timidly. They all introduced themselves and Tommy began to relax a little bit, eventually smiling and laughing alone with everyone else.

• • •

The next week went much the same, with Wilbur and Tommy slowly settling into each of their friend groups. Eventually Wilbur's sixteenth birthday came around, and whilst he declined Phil's offer to have a party of some sort, his friends all bought him small presents. It was the first time he'd ever felt like he belonged somewhere. Wilbur eventually worked up the courage to ask Phil if he could invite Faye over for dinner one night, and Phil eagerly agreed, delighted to be able to meet one of Wilbur's friends. He told Tommy that he could have a friend too, but to Phil's surprise Tommy declined.

• • •

Tommy's situation with eating was getting progressively worse. He lied at home and said he was having big lunches at school, and to avoid eating at school he told them that he ate at home. He knew he couldn't have anyone over, because then they would realise that he was lying to them. His entire body felt like it was shutting down – he constantly felt like he was about to faint, and everything seemed so... heavy. His hair was falling out in clumps whenever he brushed it or ran his hands through it, meaning he now religiously wore hats. He couldn't think of anything but food. It plagued his life.

Waking up. How would he avoid breakfast?

Breakfast avoided. Now lunch. He had to think of a new, believable excuse.

Excuse didn't work. Lunch eaten, thrown up and flushed down the loo.

Now how was he going to wiggle his way out of dinner?

Dinner partially avoided. Time to throw up what little he'd forced down.

Avoid the conversations. Upstairs. Quick. Pretend to be asleep. Now how would he escape from breakfast in the morning?

It was continual, exhausting. Tommy found himself sleeping in lessons because even if he went to bed at 6 p.m. and woke up at 7 a.m., it still wasn't a sufficient amount of sleep. His brain was clouded and hazy, and it was at this time that he began to feel scared, because for the first time he realised that if he continued like this he genuinely was going to die.

A/N: Sorry for the lack of chapters, I'm going to publish another one tonight to make up for it.

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