11 - Sweet dreams

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The food has won the kids over at least. They've proclaimed they'll go wherever Negan got all these chickens. Roasted over the fire in the fire place, the chicken and corn makes a great meal. We've been low on food for a while now. The spaghetti Negan gave me at the Sanctuary was the first proper meal I've had in weeks, so I know food like this is incredibly welcome for my friends.

But Priya, Alex and Nikolai aren't won over so easily. The only one who seems to be okay with the idea of going to the Sanctuary is Katarina. She's not happy about the fact that me and Kieran have no choice, but she can see the advantages. Over dinner, my friends ask a lot of questions. They want to know more details about what happened when we got caught and about life at the Sanctuary. It's mostly Negan who answers. I'm tired and not exactly thrilled about reliving the events of that night. Negan doesn't seem to mind. He loves an audience.

By the end of dinner, Alex seems to have warmed up to the idea a little. I know he's been worried about his niece and nephew. Like Negan said to me at the Sanctuary, there aren't enough of us to defend our group if we had to. Especially if he loses me and Kieran. And Negan told us that there are plenty of kids at the Sanctuary. They even organize a sort of school for them where they keep them occupied while their parents are working and teach them basic skills.

Katarina's convinced by the doctor. And I don't think that's just for Priya's case. Last winter, Nik suffered a terrible case of pneumonia. At the camp, there were enough resources to take care of him, but if something like that happened to him now... Nikolai on the other hand is entirely against going with Negan. Throughout dinner he's been pleading with Negan to let me and Kieran stay with them. 'They are just stupid kids, they don't know what they were doing', he says. 'How 'bout I hunt down a stag for you, I'm a great hunter, and then you let them go, yes?' and 'You can not keep an old man and woman, a pregnant girl and two kids from their friends, we need them!' Needless to say, Negan doesn't yield.

Priya is the only one who's hardly said anything throughout dinner. Curled up into a corner of the couch she eats her dinner. She looks up occasionally, but I wonder if she even listens to the conversation. When I finish my food, I sit down next to her. Negan is explaining something about the point system at the Sanctuary to the others, so no one's paying attention to us at the moment.

'What are you thinking?' I ask, tugging some of her hair behind her ear.

'It's not fair', she answers, staring down at her belly.

'What's not fair, sweetie?'

'Any of this.' When she looks up at me, I realize her hazel eyes are filled with tears. 'All of this is his fault. If he didn't exist we could have just stayed at the camp, we'd all be fine.'

'Oh, I know, darling.' I wrap my arm around here and pull her against me for a hug. She shakes and I can feel my own eyes well up again too, so I bury my face in her thick black hair. She's right. That bastard Zachary really did ruin everything.

'You could have died', she sobs.

'But I didn't.'

'I don't want to go to some new place, I want it to just be us.'

'You don't have to go if you don't want to, Pri. I'll find you again.'

'Don't be stupid. I'm coming with you. Of course I'm coming with you.'

When I move my head back, I notice the others have stopped talking. They're looking at us, sad expressions on their faces. Even Negan seems somewhat affected. Alex sighs and rubs his face.

'I guess we should start packing our stuff.'

---

After dinner, we start to pack our things. Although there's still tension in the air, everyone has calmed down a bit. My friends keep sending wary glances over to Negan and his people, but the men and woman he brought mostly keep to themselves. Negan on the other hand, starts to get on my nerves. It's becoming obvious that he doesn't intent to leave me out of his sight for a second.

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