Too Good to be Bad | Negan |

55 - Just let me go

TW: Sexual content

Somewhere along the way back to the Sanctuary, we stop and we're ordered to take all the mattresses out of the trucks and pile them up on the road. I'm not too thrilled about carrying those heavy things again and I don't understand why we have to take them out in the middle of a road, but after the scene I caused at Alexandria, I'm not about to protest.

I don't see Kieran anywhere anymore and I notice we're a couple trucks down. Maybe they already left and went back to the satellite outpost. I could have used his support, but Kenny made me stay in the truck until everything was wrapped up at Alexandria, so I didn't get a chance to speak with him again. So I work without complaint, although my back is about to give in. When we're done piling up the mattresses, some Saviors start to pour gasoline over them and I'm starting to see we don't need these ourselves at all. When they're done, Negan appears, holding a burning piece of wood.

'Today was a good fucking day', he shouts as he throws the torch onto the mattresses. They quickly light on fire and the Saviors pump their fists and shout victoriously. 'If I didn't make it clear to Rick and his little friends the last time, now there can be no question. We own them. And all of you did a damn fine job showing them that.' Again, the Saviors whoop and shout. 'Well, most of you', Negan continues. The excitement tones down a little as his tone turns serious. 'What I can not have, is people undermining my authority in front of these fucking assholes', he says, suddenly walking in a straight line towards me. Kenny, who's standing close to me, looks at me empathetically. The others look away.

I hold my breath as Negan walks all the way over and stops in front of me. 'Get down on your goddamn knees, sweetheart', he says in a dangerous tone. I don't hesitate to do as he says and stare at the ground beneath his boots. Is he going to kill me?

'I told you we were gonna have a conversation, so why wait? Everybody else, get the fuck out of here. Leave me that car.'

I don't dare to look up, but I can hear everybody walking away to get into the vehicles. Negan's boots stay in front of me as I hear them pulling up and driving away. Once everyone has left, Negan starts to pace in front of me. When he talks, he sounds madder than ever.

'Anybody else', he says dangerously. 'Anybody else would have had their head bashed in right then and there!'

I push myself off the ground to face him, making him look at me in surprise.

'Well, what's stopping you, Negan? I'm just one of your workers, right? So kill me if that's what you want.'

'Did I say you could get off your knees?' he asks furiously.

'I am done getting on my knees for you', I shout back.

He rubs his face in frustration and continues to pace in front of me.

'Jesus fucking Christ, Lara, what the hell am I going to do with you?'

'Just let me leave', I say desperately.

'What?' he asks surprised.

'Let me leave. I don't want to live like this, Negan. Just let me go and I won't bother you anymore.'

'I won't let you leave', he says angrily.

'Why? Because it's supposed to be a year? That's not fair, we've done enough for you. I saved your life for fuck's sake, I don't owe you anymore.'

He stops in front of me and stares down at me with angry eyes.

'I won't let you leave, because I can't protect you out there.'

I open my mouth in surprise, but close it again. He looks serious enough. Is this what this is really about?

'I thought you didn't care about me anymore', I say finally.