Too Good to be Bad | Negan |

56 - He might not make it

The car ride back to the Sanctuary is a bit odd. It had been months since we were this intimate and now that we were again, we both know we'll be saying goodbye soon. We talk over the details in the car. He'll let us go with some provisions. But not too much. And in order not to lose face, he'll announce he exiled us, rather than let us go. Because he can't have people thinking they can get away with breaking the rules. He can't have people thinking he can actually be decent.

And Sherry can't go. That's the only thing that bothers me. Because her and Dwight wronged him in a way he can't forgive. So he says. I wish I could take her with us, but Negan's not going to yield. I have to let it go. She told me she wouldn't have me searching for a way out for her. I can't save everybody.

'I'll announce it tomorrow', he says as he parcs the car on the grounds of the Sanctuary. 'Make sure to look shocked.'

'Something like this?' I say, pulling a shocked face. 'Or maybe I should cry.'

He laughs and reaches out his hand to cup my face.

'Don't cry', he says. Then he bends forward and kisses me. I make sure to remember it. This might be the last time. He looks at me for a moment after he pulls away, like there's something he wants to say. But Negan is not the type for heartfelt goodbyes, so he just runs his hand through my hair one last time before he opens his car door.

'Make sure not to look too happy right now', he says as we walk towards the Sanctuary. 'I just spent hours punishing you for your insubordination, remember?'

'Yes. It was horrible.'

Negan swings Lucille over his shoulder and looks at me. A cocky smile on his face.

'Not too horrible, I hope?'

I smile back, but look away before I start to blush again.

'Not too horrible', I admit, making him grin.

'See you around, miss Pierce', he says, brushing his hand over mine for a second before he walks the other way.

'Bye', I say softly. I don't think he hears me anymore. I watch him recede into the distance before I enter the building and make my way to the cafeteria. Dinner is about to start, so I should meet my friends there soon. I can't wait to tell them we'll be getting out of here so easily.

I search for Nik's face among the servers, but I don't spot him. He doesn't work every shift though, so maybe he's free and he'll join us for dinner. Even better. Though I can't tell them here, of course, we'll need more privacy.

I take my place at our usual table and wait for them impatiently. But as the cafeteria fills up, our table remains suspiciously empty. I look around anxiously and after a while my plate's already empty, but still none of my friends have showed up. I'm about to go look for them in their rooms, when Kenny makes his way to my table. Shit, I hope he isn't too angry about what I did at Alexandria.

'Good to see you're still breathing', he greets me.

'I'm so sorry, Kenny', I say, hoping to ease his anger. 'You were right, I never should've gone there, I won't be doing it again.' That's an easy promise to make, since we'll be leaving.

'Yeah, no shit, you think I'd ever let you go again? But look, I have to talk to you.'

'I totally get it, I was out of line', I say quickly. 'Negan made it very clear.'

'He wasn't too hard on you, was he?' Kenny asks, looking a little concerned.

'Uhm, he was... you know, as you'd expect', I say, averting my eyes. I really do have to work on my lying. Fortunately, Kenny nods, like he understands.