Root Beer Float (Kaito x Meiko)

Thirty

The next two weeks were a blur. First and foremost, Kaito was at our house pretty much every chance he got for several days after Kagamine left. He missed being involved, everyone else missed his support, and most importantly, I missed the type of comfort that only he could give me.

We'd spent even more time laughing over dinner, watching TV on his couch, surprising each other at work. It seemed we'd picked up a new hobby, too: laying in comfortable silence on my bed. There had been a lot on my mind lately, and I found that I trusted myself around Kaito more than I trusted myself to think things through all alone, because that's when it really spiraled out of control.

One particular afternoon, I was lying on Kaito's chest right after he had woken up from a nap, and now he had me under his arm as he casually scrolled through his phone. I was staring at the wall, deep in thought about something that had happened on the previous night.

I had been in Luka's room, helping her fold laundry. We had been making light conversation about work, but all of a sudden she said, "I think I'll sign all of us up for therapy."

"What?" I looked up at her. "Like, as a group? We don't really need to waste money on that, do we?"

She kept her eyes on the laundry. "It's just... I've been thinking about it a lot since Yohioloid left. I clearly have some issues to work through, and I realized everyone else probably does too. I'll probably only go for a little while, and no, it won't be in a group. I'll have to talk to the twins about it, and since they're probably still processing it all, it might be better if they do it together or maybe even have me there. As for Miku, well, that might have to be more of a long-term situation. Clearly she has problems that extend beyond just us and I feel terrible for neglecting them for so long."

"Yeah," I swallowed. "I do too."

Finally, she looked up at me. "And as for you, well, I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you've probably needed this for a long time," I could tell she really had thought about it for a long time. "To me, it seems like you get pretty bad anxiety."

I scoffed, getting defensive. "Maybe I overthink every once in a while, but there's nothing wrong with me."

"Hey, I'm not saying there is. We've all been through a hard time lately, and I want to make sure we're the best we can be. Just think about it?" She pleaded.

I gave her a mixed response. Whether I needed it or not, I didn't want to go. It seemed... embarrassing. What if somebody at work found out?

And so, not surprisingly, I spent the whole night and most of the day thinking about it. As I was laying with Kaito, the words just slipped out of my mouth. "Luka wants me to go to therapy."

We had a kind of system set up. He understood I had to be alone with my thoughts, so he said nothing. Kaito knew me well enough to know that I would talk when I was ready, and now that I was, he spoke up. "She does?"

"Yeah," I responded, not moving from where I laid. "Well, technically she wants all of us to go, but... yeah."

"Do you know why?" He put his phone down and began toying with my hair.

"I mean... I guess it was because of the Kagamine situation that she suggested it for everyone, but she said I probably have anxiety. Do you think I have it?" I started running my finger along the pattern on his shirt.

"If you want my honest answer, then yes," Kaito took my hand. "But what we see from the outside doesn't mean anything. Do you think you have it?"

"I don't know. Probably not."