𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 , 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐲

◈ forty ◈

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Forty

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"Don't talk to me, people will think we're friends."

"I thought we were friends!" Alex frowned, trailing behind me as I walked through my apartment, 'Sociology and the Mind' course textbook in hand, "Plus, we're alone, so there's no need for you to do that thing that you do."

"What thing do I do?" I looked up from the book, losing my place in whatever paragraph I wasn't fully paying attention to anyways. Ollie's Parents' funeral had caused me to take a full week of school off, which had caused a snowball effect of piling work over the past month, now it was Late-March and I was working my way back to achieving average, which had always been difficult for me.

"The thing you do where you," Alex held up his hands to demonstrate, and I watched carefully, "put these walls around your heart, and you lock it—and you f*cking burn the key."

"I don't do that." I deadpanned, turning my head back down to highlight some line that looked important, "I'm just a little more...cautious than others."

"I don't know anything about you." He retorted,

"you've made me do those stupid questions," I remembered, "You know some things about me, and that's the best you'll get."

"When was the last time you truly ever opened up to someone?" He asked quickly, giving me close to no time to think.

"A couple days after—" I paused, it was a long story I didn't want to unpack, "After a really big—incident—Ranboo's Mom's took me in, and that night—I told them every single detail and event that had happened in those past 18 months."

"and when was that?" Alex asked, seemingly good at seaming unfazed,

"About a month after I turned 17." I answered, tapping the kitchen island in rhythmic patterns.

His eyes flashed with some sort of worried distress, "So it's been just about 3 years since you fully opened up to anyone?"

"Mhm." I nodded, not super affected by knowing this information. "It doesn't matter that much—"

Before I could finish my sentence, Alex pulled me into a hug, stopping my thoughts completely.

"I'm sorry Iris." He said quietly, not giving too much explanation for the embrace.

"...It's okay." I assure, slightly confused, but accepting the endearment anyways, I didn't mind. I never really did with him.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

The month continued, eventually I was caught up with all my schoolwork, except for my finals that needed to be done in May, which I still had to study for over the next couple of weeks.

"You're turning into Ollie." Alex said, falling onto the couch next to me as I read along a textbook for the millionth time.

"I'm studying," I muttered, "The difference is Ollie just doesn't sleep"

"You don't sleep anymore." He mentioned, leaning over my shoulder to read along, "you should sleep."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm fine without sleep, 'm just studying a bit more for exams."

"Exams aren't for 3 more weeks; you'll do just fine." Alex huffed, after a long moment, I slowly closed the book.

"happy?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, which made my earrings jingle ever so slightly.