Saved And Hunted

Hiding with fears

Every single day at school, I've been avoiding both Academy teams. My feelings are so jumbled and confusing, and I know I will fall apart if they say anything to me.

I've been so busy protecting them and keeping my distance from the world, that I temporarily forgot that I need to be protecting them from myself too.

They're all just such kind and considerate men, that I let some of my walls crumble with them. I forgot my place, and I can't let that happen again. I'm the biggest threat to them. Even if unintentionally.

I've perfected my control on my magic. I've perfected my mask to not break. But nothing could have prepared me to learn to cover and shield my heart.

I'm always quick witted and quick to conclusions. I can read a person's emotions in seconds and know their deepest secrets.

But now, as I rush through the school halls, I've realized that I should be covering my own secrets. I need to get these feelings locked down inside of me.

I've been throwing wall after wall around me. Trying to prevent the Tomas from having to feel anything, I've only occasionally let it slip away for a couple seconds, only to throw another one up.

It's been three and a half days of me working tediously around those men. Sneaking around them, or even teleporting away in a last dip effort to escape when they've got me trapped.

But today I'm exhausted. I need to get this Friday over with so I can figure out what to do over the weekend. Because there's no way I'm going to be able to keep this dodge and weaving game up.

There's too many of them against me. Even my own office isn't safe right now. I just ditched a North and Silas there.

And I've noticed that the two older Blackbourne boys have been trying to meet up with me. They've scheduled meetings and everything to try and get ahold of me. And I just know that the other seven boys, told them about me.

I sigh and throw my head back with a thud. Ouch. I temporarily forgot that I had propped myself against the wall inside of the girls locker room. It was the closest escape from Axel, who was currently following me.

I can feel his presence now as he waits a few feet from the door. He sends a flow of his desperation and concern through the bond, and I'm mildly impressed at his progress at using it so easily.

There's a quick knock on the door as Axel calls out for me.

"Sang please just talk to us. Stop avoiding us all.... please."

My heart breaks at his pleading and hurt tone. I feel my lips tremble with the force of the emotional anguish.

"Ahhh! Sang, it's okay. You don't have to be upset. You don't have to protect us. We want to protect you." His voice cracks a little bit at the end and I have to throw another wall around my chest before he feels how much those words hurt.

"Ax.... nobody can protect me. I would only bring bad luck and destruction. I- I can protect you all from afar. I promise I will... just-please." At this point I'm not exactly sure what I'm begging him to do.

Let me go? To stop following me and trying to talk to me? Am I asking for them to forget me?

"No. We aren't dropping this Sang. Expecially not with this new development. But definitely not until you open up for once and trust us to be able to handle ourselves. It's not your job to block the world from us. You're one person! Trust us to know what we can and can't handle." The desperation and seriousness in his voice sends me to the floor.

I hug my knees to my chest. A sob stuck in my throat as tears pour from my very soul.

I sound like a broken record to myself. But don't they see? I'm not this great amazing person they see me as. I'm not soft and innocent. I'm not perfect and trustworthy.