Before We Were Us ○ Jasper Hale 2

I'm Fine, Really

"Hey, you ran out of the lunch room yesterday like you just saw death." Jace chuckles and I sigh, moving my phone to the other ear as I pull on my pants.
"Yeah, sorry about that again, I don't know what came over me."
"You sure you're okay to come to school? Maybe you should take a sick day, I could pick you up some tea or something." Nope. That's a big fat no.
"Nah I think I'm okay, plus, I have a test today." I tell him.
"Alright... Want a ride?" He asks and I curse myself. Come up with another excuse and he'll definitely know you're avoiding him!! "S-Sure. Bernadette and I need to look over our notes anyway." I reply. "Alright, I'll be there soon." He says and I hang up quickly, sitting on my bed with a sigh and a groan.
"Why me." I complain pathetically.
I hear a car horn honk and I sigh, grab my bag, and jog down the stairs, no sight of Mom once again. I grab my keys and smile as I walk out of the house. "Bye Mom!" I shout into the empty house, locking the door and walking up to Jace's car, finding no sign of Bernadette. "Where's-"
"She caught the bus, something about still being mad any you." Jace lies and I couldn't help the skeptical look I shoot him before getting into the passenger side of the car. He peals away from the house and I stare out the window as he drives us to school.
"Did you tell her about the notes?" I ask. "Yeah, she just blew it off." He says and I nod, knowing that wasn't true because the notes thing was a lie and she'd know something was up.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Jace asks, tasting his hand on my knee, the memory of hurling still fresh and churning my stomach again.
"Yeah, I'm fine, really." I say quickly with a small chuckle before moving my leg away from him. The rest of the ride was silent and as we pull into the school I jump out of the car and watch as Bernadette walks into the school with a boy on either side of her.
"Thanks for the ride, Jace." I smile and start towards the school.
"Hey, Thea!" He calls and I spin around and look to him.
"We're going to the beach later, you should come!!" He says.
"I don't know, I'll think about it!" I reply before walking away. It's sunny today, and warm. That means the Cullen's won't be in school today.
"Hey!" I call out to Bernadette confidently as I walk with a smirk on my face. She turns to me with innocent eyes and the two guys groan and walk away. I'm in so much shit later.
"Why did you take the bus? You left me along with Jace." I growl out lowly.
"What!? He drove you but kicked me out of the car!?" She whisper shouts right back and both of our eyes widen.
"Oh." We mumble in unison.

"Well what are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"Just that, I don't know."
"Well what if he asks you out?"
"I don't know, Bernadette!" I explode, I can't handle all of these questions.
"He really likes you now that I think about it."
"Yeah, and I'm still in love with Nathan!!" I accidentally let slip and I watch as Bernadette's eyes widen and I feel my face heat up.
"I need to get to class." I mutter bitterly and leave Bernadette standing there in probably shock.
Bernadette's never loved anyone before, she doesn't let herself. Bernadette is too scared of being abandoned or hurt, that's why she keeps people at a distance with her public personality. She's never gone farther than lust with a boy.
I, however, have had my first love, and I pushed him away. Somedays I'll be sitting in class and I'll keep looking at the door, as if he's going to run in at any moment and tell me it's all going to be okay. Most days, he's what I think about before falling asleep. And everyday, I think about him in one thing I do or another.
Nathan, he's the only one that knows about my family situation. He's the only one who knows how insecure I am. He's the one I gave everything to, and he gave me everything in return. I don't doubt that he loved me in the time we had, I really do believe that in that little time bubble, we loved each other deeply.
In the end, I pushed him away, so he could leave with no regrets. Nathan, he's too smart and too bright for small town Forks. He's in college in Massachusetts now, and he's living his life happily now. He has a new girlfriend and he's made himself a new life, he's started living, that's why it's unfair for me to still love him.
Some days it's worse than others, but it's all numbed over now. The distance makes it a little more bearable, I can pretend it never happened, that it was just one big dream.
"Thea Robinson?"
"Here!"
He's the only one that really ever called me by my name.