We share the same eyes , on some days they're so similar i can't even bare the sight of myself . I didn't know you ,but i am you ,i can't tell you how much pain it brings me to look in the mirror only to see traces of someone i never knew ,it makes me feel like a stranger to myself ,carrying parts of people i will never get to experience or know.
I never wanted to be like you, brave or kind ,and so so quite about your pain ,because i know the consequences of having those traits. But here i am ,carrying the weight you once did because to my distaste ,tears are still associated with weakness ,and i am anything ,but weak. It's been so hard to interact with my friends , to talk or listen ,when my world is falling apart. It's been so so hard to pretend like i am not in the process of losing everything familiar to me , everything i thought made me ,me.
This is the price of frequent evolution , nothing ever stays , nothing ever remains long enough for me to grow with it ,for me to let myself love it. But there is consistency in the loneliness , in all this discarded skin ,and at times it's hard for me to seperate myself from the bitterness of being alone ,true true loneliness. And the loneliness,that cold,empty loneliness makes it harder for me to let people love me , because I'm tired okay. It gets so hard sometimes there are days when I have to remind myself to breathe , because I'd suffocate under all this hurt i carry around like armour.
It isn't armour! How could you teach me to treat it like it is? I never knew what it was to love and hate someone until i was doing it to myself. We look so similar ,it makes me hate myself just a little bit more.
-Liyah smith
YOU ARE READING
Comprehension
PoetryThere is a conversation happening inside you pay deep attention to what your inner world is saying. -Rupi kaur
