Random Memorandum

Easter Jokes

Just thought y'all would like something funny on Easter. Sometimes Easter can get so boring and bland, so I did this to spruce your Easters up!

Hope this is the least bit egg-citing.

Easter Vigil
A parishioner was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
The parishioner replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them in the face & said, ''Tooth fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny'' & walked away like a boss. (don't mean to offend anyone by that joke)

That awkward moment when Lady Gaga pops out of one of the eggs you find on Easter.

Q: Why couldn’t the Easter egg family watch T.V.?
A: Because their cable was scrambled.

With Apologies to Blondes comes this new Easter joke 

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful and stuff..." "Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and drink eggnog." St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?" The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday, that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper. Then the Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then the third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out...and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."

Why the Easter Bunny Brings Eggs

9. Big tax write-off.

8. Who ever heard of Easter Bricks?

7. Consider all of the varieties: scrambled, over easy, hard boiled.

6. He gets a good deal from the local chickens.

5. Secret plan to eliminate human race by cholesterol overdose.

4. Pressure from the Egg Marketing Board.

3. Because if it brought bottle rockets it would be the Independence Bunny.

2. Would you want to hunt for waffles?

1. Because the Energizer rabbit got the good job.

Yep. That's all I could find! Hehe... have a good Easter!

~FAORA

Special Thanks to:

www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes

www.easterhumor.com/jokes