Chapter 33

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*8 weeks later*

   We have officially got out of lockdown. Security is low key now, thankfully.

    Jack and I had our 12 week appointment several days ago. We were so excited to see the little baby and hear the heartbeat. The way he looked at the screen and the way he smiled when hearing the heartbeat melted my heart.

     I was now heading into my office and I was having terrible cramps. I must've eaten bad china last night or something.

    I walked in with Jack and my cramps were terrible to the point I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. Emily followed me and held my hair up.

   "Madeline, are you alright." She asked, concerned.

   "Yeah, I ate a bad take out. I should've just waited for dad to bring home spaghetti Rossi brought for me." I said lying, thankfully Emily believed.

     I quickly cleaned up and went to my desk. Right before making it there Hotch walked out of his office telling us we had a case.

    We walked to the round table room. Jack fell behind to walk by my side.

    "Yeah, just cramping and nausea. It's nothing. Don't worry." I said. He just nodded.

   "This is gonna be an interesting case-" I zoned out. ic outdent look at the photos without feeling like gagging. I looked at the chopped up remains, and about to gag. This is gonna be a long case.

    I started to stare off into another world and I wasn't called back until Rossi put his hand on my shoulder.

   "Is everything alright kiddo?" He asked. The meeting had ended.

   "Yeah, I'm just not feeling the best." I smiled, he just nodded.

    I got up and my cramps hit me like a hurricane. They were so painful. It was so hard to walk but I did anyway. Tears formed in my eyes but that was fine. Before I got out the hallway to the BAU entrance someone wrapped their arms around me. The arms weren't the strong ones I recognized.

   "Hey, you leaked through your pants." JJ said, wrapping her jacket around my waist then tying it.

   "Thank you. Can you tell Hotch I'm heading home. I just really not feeling good. Also can you send Jack after me please as well." I said. She nodded and walked off.

   I stumbled out of the BAU and made it to the hallway beside the BAU entrance. The pain became so overwhelming I fell over in agony.

    "God. Please God. No. Please." I pleaded in agony.

    I heard footsteps heading my way. Seeing his reflection in the door I didn't get up. Jack walked past me looking at his phone

    "Jack!" I shouted.

   "Oh, gosh, Madeline are you alright?"

    "We need to go to an ER. I'm bleeding and cramping severely." I stated. He nodded and helped me into the elevator to the car. On the way to the ER, Jack called Hotch telling him that we were not gonna be on the case because I was 'sick'.

    Once we arrived he rushed in. I clutched my stomach in so much pain. I was crying by the time the nurse came with the wheelchair.

    We were rushed in and I was examined. I was waiting in pain. Waiting for an answer. Praying my baby was okay. Praying everything would be okay. By the expression on the doctor's face, everything wasn't okay.

   "I'm sorry. You're having a miscarriage." The doctor said, Everything went blank after that.

   A sob raked my body. My whole world ended. I felt like things were slowly normal. My life has to turn bad every time It starts to turn happy.

   "No. no. no." I shook my head on Jack's chest.

    I felt his tears land on me as mine landed on him. We lost something that meant so much to us.

    Jack took me home. I took the pill they gave me to help pass the baby. I sat in the bathroom waiting. I sat beside Jack. Tears rolling down both of our faces.

   "I'm so sorry. This is my fault. My plague wants to haunt me every time a hint of happiness shows through."

   "No-" Jack began to say.

   "Yes, because I killed our child. Our child is dead because of me." I sobbed.

   "No, it's not your fault. The baby was better with my mother than here. That's what God decided."

   I was gonna disagree but my dad called me. I made Jack answer it because I knew if I did he would sense something wrong. I zoned out their whole conversation. I sat there thinking what life would be like with a baby.

   Who would they look like. What color eyes, and hair? Curly or straight hair? I would never know what my son or daughter would look like. I guess I'll never know.





A/n: Sad plot twist 😭 Just writing this made me sad. I feel so bad for her. If you had a miscarriage I am very sorry. No one deserves to go through that. It's not your fault! I love each and everyone of you ❤️

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