To Lose or to Gain: Iroh's Child (AtlA Fanfic)

Complicated

Time passed.

There was something about his grandfather's request—

Zuko couldn't place his finger on it, beyond the fact both his grandfather and uncle felt he was ready to show off his Firebending ability even though he still lacked confidence in his bending ability. Those he bent in front of her individuals his grandfather trusted, who wouldn't judge him if he failed. One even sparred with him, yet stepping away, Zuko knew he felt better about himself, even if he didn't feel more confident in his ability.

And he knew—he knew he should trust his grandfather, could trust his grandfather.

Everything was on the up, the pleasant feeling growing and growing as the months passed. Kiya continued to grow, eventually learning to crawl around when Ursa brought her over to visit. Zuko sat on his knees, watching his youngest sister sit in his mother's lap, her eyes taking in the entire world around her while Ursa assured him Ozai and Azula were treating Kiya kindly.

Her mother let her slip down onto the floor, where she began to crawl across the floor. Zuko watched, amazed at such a sight, a thrill flooding through his chest. Kiya continued crawling, right over to Iroh and up into his lap, which caused a rather big laugh to irrupt from the man's chest as he lifted the small toddler into the air. She giggled at this while Iroh's eyes sparkled. "This reminds me of something."

"It does?" Zuko asked hesitantly, thinking he knew the answer, yet he didn't understand why his uncle smiled.

"It reminds me of when you were this little!" Iroh's belly shook as he gave Kiya another lift before setting her down so she might try to crawl into his lap.

"Me?" Zuko's eyes blinked.

Iroh laughed. "Of course you. Who else would it have been?"

"Lu Ten." He then muttered a quick apology.

"Don't. I don't mind being reminded of the happy memories, Zuko," Iroh smiled; Kiya grabbed his finger. "And while it's nice being reminded of what Lu Ten was like at your age, it's also nice being reminded of what you were like at this age."

"Oh."

"Don't worry. You'll be a great older brother," Iroh said. "You already are one. One that Kiya can look up to as she gets older."

Perhaps that was why—

Zuko honestly wasn't sure why he did what he did, asking his uncle to let him into the council chamber that day, a year or so after Lu Ten died, and he'd become his uncle's son, Iroh's second child. He'd become more comfortable with referring to Iroh as his father, more comfortable with his bending, but also his roles as an older brother to Kiya along with his role as Iroh's heir. He wanted to be there, learning more and—

Iroh let him in, agreeing with him regarding needing to learn. He didn't know what his grandfather thought as he was behind the fire curtain, yet the Fire Lord said he was most welcome to sit upon the war council.

Things were a blur. The whole year or so was a blur, a wonderful blur filled with positive emotions of rarely if ever interacting with Ozai and Azula, his confidence having grown despite there still being that inkling of comparing himself to his younger sister. When he did, Iroh or someone else remained close by, yet in asking to sit upon the war council, Zuko hadn't expected Ozai to be there.

He objected, "He's still a child."

Which was where Azulon said Zuko was more than welcome. At the same time, one of the generals—Zuko, recognized him from not one. Still, two birthdays ago, he muttered something about Ozai not having the experience on the battlefield to make such objections which never once was reprimanded by his grandfather. Instead, Azulon stated Zuko could be there to learn.

Ozai hated it.

And so Zuko fidgetted. He fidgetted until he heard the general—Zuko thought he was a general—suggested sacrificing young soldiers for a win, and his thoughts went to Lu Ten and his sacrifice and—he said what he said, calling the general out for what he said. At the moment, he didn't remember his exact words beyond the fact he didn't feel sacrificing the troops was worth it.

He remembered the quiet that fell over the room, the way Ozai glared at him, as did the general and a few others. Zuko saw the color drain from Iroh's face, the look of surprise that Zuko had spoken up at all—Azulon encouraged it during their meals, asking him exactly what he thought regarding specific political manners, and Zuko always answered honestly.

Such honesty was not at all appreciated by those in the room, and—

The general challenged him to an Agni Kai.

"You should have declined," Akira said while sitting on the porch surrounding the place he and Zuko bended.

"Could I have?" Zuko asked, wondering in the back of his head whether that was possible or if he'd let hubris get the better of him.

"Zuko was just being Zuko," Hideki replied, looking up from the book he was reading.

"Meaning?"

"You stood up for what you believed is right," Hideki turned back to his book.

"This isn't to say that's not a good thing, Zuko," Akira replied, his tone of voice indicating that he was worried about the upcoming Agni Kai. "But sometimes, like this time, it is going to cause trouble for you, and by extension, the royal family."

"I—" Zuko frowned. "I hadn't thought of that. I didn't want to cause trouble for grandfather or uncle. I wanted—" He trailed off.

"What gets me is that this general threw that out there as an option after the Fire Lord lost his eldest grandson and the Crown Prince his son."

"That—Lu Ten had nothing—," Zuko looked at the ground. "No. Lu Ten completely had to do with why I reacted the way I did. It was like they were spitting in his face, but it shouldn't have surprised me given the fact there is—was a conversation about his death equating to a failure. But, you'd think with talk like that they'd also be concerned about the families of these soldiers, that their sacrifice wouldn't be seen for what it was. It's—I don't get it."

"War is complicated," Akira said. "Still, I don't think you really understand the point I was trying to make."

"I know I caused trouble for the royal family," Zuko sighed.

"Not that. I'm far more concerned that general actually challenged a child, let alone the Esteemed Prince, to an Agni Kai. The whole thing bothers me, Zuko, and—" Akira swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. Older he was, he'd always been slightly taller, but now the height difference had grown somewhat. "I won't be there."

"You won't?" Zuko frowned.

"My father will be, but that's why I thought to ask you about what happened. He told me that I'm not to go, and neither are you, Hideki. And it's not that he doesn't want us being there to support you. Just—something doesn't seem right, and I think he suspects something isn't quite right. I mean, someone challenged a member of the royal family to an Agni Kai."

"Do you think the fact Zuko's bending ability is relatively unknown has to do with that?"

"Well, that general may think he has something over Zuko due to age, yet Zuko is still a royal member of the family, so the insult is still there. I'm surprised—" Akira stopped speaking.

"Akira?"

"Just, I'm surprised nobody intervened on your behalf, and they are letting this go through. It—it is treason."

"Treason? I'm sure he was just as hot-headed as I was."

Akira turned and looked at Zuko, frowning. "Is that how you see it? A spur of the moment challenge?"

"You should take this seriously, Zuko," Hideki lectured.

"I am. I don't see how I could have turned it down. I've never heard of an Agni Kai being turned down."

"That's because nobodies stupid enough ever to challenge a child, let alone a member of the royal family to an Agni Kai," Akira muttered.