To Lose or to Gain: Iroh's Child (AtlA Fanfic)

Upside Down World

Zuko's stomach churned with each step he took towards the private quarters of the Fire Lord. Holding onto his Uncle calloused head did nothing to abate the fear pounding in his small heart. In the back of his mind, a voice screamed the place was forbidden, yet he feared the lecture he would receive from Ozai. His golden eyes darted around fearfully taking everything he'd never seen before.

He didn't know what would happen when they stepped into the private sitting room of the Fire Lord. The realization hit upon seeing the Fire Lord's face he'd rarely seen the formidable man in front of him without a wall of fire between them, yet the voice in the back of his head which sounded so much like Ozai kept saying the Fire Lord ordered his death.

"Zuko, come here." Hearing the Fire Lord speak made Zuko's heart beat even more erratically and he almost obediently stepped forward doing what was expected. A small squeeze on his hand made Zuko stop and look up at his protector. The way Iroh shook his head reminded Zuko of the promise of protection he'd received from none other than The Dragon of the West. "Iroh, your brother has already tried my patience. Don't..."

"What will the Fire Lord do to uncle if I don't comply?" Zuko found himself stepping towards the Fire Lord bound and determined to protect the person who promised to protect him no matter what the consequences would be. He didn't expect the Fire Lord lifting him up so he might sit on the man's knee while gently holding him there, nor did he expect to find Azulon's embrace warm and comforting. The warm feeling didn't make the fear go away, yet Zuko found himself left even more confused. "How can I be Fire Lord if I'm dead?"

The thought which he openly verbalized continued churning in the back of Zuko's mind while he followed the servant to the room where his grandfather's Pai Sho table was kept. The servant stood by the door while Zuko walked over to the table and walked around the circle letting his finger drag around the edge. His mouth formed a thin line wondering what importance his grandfather and uncle found in Pai Sho when the game was yet another thing Ozai said was a waste of time.

"Do you know how to play, esteemed Prince Zuko?"

Zuko stopped walking around the table. Quite a few servants referred to him as the esteemed Prince Zuko. He swallowed, remembering how the servants used the words esteemed with his cousin Lu Ten, yet brushed it aside despite knowing what the use of the word along with his grandfather's question regarding what kind of Fire Lord he wanted to be actually meant. In the back of his head, he still heard Azula telling him their father was going to kill him. "No."

"Would you like me to teach you?"

The young prince shook his head and instead sat down on one of the cushions. His small hand reached for the box of tiles sitting nearby and placed the tile onto the table allowing him to examine the design on the tile which in turn distracted him from his current situation. A few more titles joined the other tile on the board when he heard someone clearing their throat. Zuko's head darted up. "Uncle!"

Relief washed over the young prince as Zuko pushed himself up from the table. He walked over and wrapped his small arms around his uncle's waist while burring his head into the man's warm stomach. He felt his uncle's calloused hands lightly touch his back and the top of his head. Eventually, Iroh pulled away and knelt down while his hands when up to cusp Zuko's small face. A smile spread across his face. "Looks like we worried for nothing, dear child as it turns out your grandfather didn't order your death."

Zuko's eyes blinked. "I don't understand. What's going on?"

"You'll get your answers when you and I join your grandfather for lunch. In the meantime, what would you like to do? I could give you your first lesson on the tsunagi horn, but you've not yet had breakfast."

His eyes darted away. "Um..." His stomach still churned. "I don't feel like eating."

Iroh let out a laugh before standing and lifting Zuko into his arms. The breath rushed out of Zuko's lungs while his eyes looked down at the ground. In the back of his mind, he couldn't remember a time Ozai held him in this manner, yet he did remember his mother holding him in her arms. "That's not surprising given the excitement of this morning. So, where are we off to?"

Zuko's fingers twisted into Iroh's clothing while his eyes closed. The events of the last few days completely interrupted his usual schedule, but his throat tightened. His voice lowered to a whisper. "I've not practiced my Firebending today yet, but father will be mad enough that I didn't yesterday either."

He felt Iroh tense up. A sigh from his uncle made Zuko's eyes snap open, but they closed when his uncle touched his forehead to Zuko's. "I'd love to see you Firebend."

Zuko's eyes snapped open, but his hand which gripped into his uncle's clothing tugged indicating he wanted down. Iroh let him slip from his arms and Zuko looked at his feet. "I'm not any good."

Iroh let out a laugh. "Zuko, what I care about is that you try and never give up?"

"Mother said that!" A smile spread across his face, but his hand reached out for his uncle's hand. The young prince pulled his uncle after him. Iroh let out a laugh but eventually stopped. Zuko turned and looked up at the man. "What?"

"Zuko, we're not going to that practice ground." Iroh smiled down at him, yet the look on his face was pained. Zuko swallowed, realizing he'd started towards the practice grounds of Ozai's household. The young prince found himself looking in the direction of the part of the palace where his father, mother, and sister would be sometime during the day. A sigh escaped his lips, but Iroh placed a gentle hand on his back and redirected him towards another part of the palace. "Let's go this way."

Zuko followed Iroh towards the practice grounds of his uncle's practice ground. Iroh nudged him into the center of the grounds when the arrived but patted him on the shoulder.

"Start."

The young prince found himself moving, but his movements felt awkward and unfamiliar. He struggled and failed his jumps. Zuko expected a lecture or disdain, but when he turned and looked where his uncle was sitting, he received a genuine smile. The man even clapped his hands before standing up and walking over.

Zuko frowned. "I messed up. I can't get any of this right."

"Start over with the opening stance." Iroh insisted and Zuko frowned and went into his warmup stance. He started into the first movement but heard his uncle speak. "No. Hold still." Zuko felt his uncle's hands gently adjust his positioning. "How does it feel now?"

Good. It felt good."

Iroh let out a laugh and placed his forehead against Zuko's. "I'm glad."

Zuko frowned. "But I messed up."

"Didn't you say you couldn't get any of it right? You just got part of it right." Iroh continued resting his forehead but rested his hands gently on Zuko's shoulders.

"But..." Zuko couldn't help but look at his feet remembering Azula saying he would never catch up.

"You did wonderful Zuko, but a person learns more from messing up than they do always getting things right."