To Lose or to Gain: Iroh's Child (AtlA Fanfic)

Slow Adjustment

Zuko's eyes fluttered open while his ears picked up on the silence which surrounded him. The scilence felt different than the lovely music from the night before, yet Zuko found himself slightly unsettled upon looking around the room which he knew was not his own. He moved slightly and felt something squish underneath him. He quickly retrieved the item and saw the dragon looking back at him.

He swallowed before pulling the stuffed animal into his chest.

The sun outside was starting to rise, yet he didn't feel like getting out of bed and instead lay there looking at the wall while holding onto the toy. One small hand creapt under his head to support his head while he contemplated what he would do next. His normal routine meant waking up and his mother coming in to help him dress before breakfast. He then spent the day with the tutors.

"Not that I really want to be there."

Zuko let out a sigh and turned onto his back while still clutching the dragon to his chest. His golden colored eyes took in the ceiling of his room while he tried imagining Lu Ten coming home instead of the fate which actually occurred. Nothing came and he found himself taking a deep breath.

"Nothing's the same."

The sound of the door opening made Zuko sit up, but a grin spread across his face upon seeing the person entering. A smile spread across Iroh's face before he bounded out of the bed and wrapped his arms around his uncle's thick waist. Gone were the armour his uncle wore the day before, yet the man still gave off a comforting pressance.

"So, are you ready for me to tell you what the plans for today are?"

"Yes." Zuko pulled back and stood at attention while holding his hands behind his back. He watched his uncle's smile falter.

"Something the matter?"

"I was thinking of Lu Ten."

"I see." Iroh reached out and ruffled the top of Zuko's head messing up the style his mother put his hair in. "Well, one of today's tasks is teaching you how to dress so you can do this on your own if you need to. While we in the royal family do have attendants, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we need to care for ourselves. Plus, you won't have to worry about Lady Akane and the other attendants attempting to dress you except for major circumstances. In that regard, you're also old enough for a male attendant, so I'll have her see to that."

Zuko frowned, wondering if he needed to know all of that. He instead followed Iroh's instructions regarding how to dress himself and do the hairstyle his mother favored for him. He felt his bottom lip jut out slightly upon thinking of her and interrupted his uncle informing him of breakfast being the next task. "I miss her."

"Your mother?"

"She didn't do anything wrong. Or was encouraging me the wrong thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I messed up in front of Fi... grandfather. She told me I needed to keep trying no matter how much I fail. I'm sure grandfather heard."

"I think grandfather is far more upset with Ozai than Ursa."

Zuko's eyes blinked and tilted his head back so he could look up at his uncle. "You called him grandfather and not father."

"Oh, well that is normal." Iroh's eyes blinked before his grin widened. "I guess you never heard Ozai reference him as anything but Fire Lord, right?"

Zuko shook his head. "Grandfather isn't as scary as..." He paused, frowning. "Isn't the Fire Lord supposed to insteal fear into people?"

"I think that depends." Iroh helped Zuko's small hands figure out how to tie the knot. "See, a Fire Lord wants to insteal fear because he wants his people to see him as powerful, yet he also wants to balance that out with benevolence so his people trust and have faith in him. The direction this balance leans depends on the time frame. That's why he asked you about what kind of Fire Lord you wanted to be. You will be Fire Lord during a time of peace and thus you'll want to lean in the other direction Zuko."

"Oh."

The door opened and Zuko glanced up. His golden eyes widened upon seeing the woman from the day before along with a few others. They brought with them a couple of treys containing breakfast. From behind he heard the sound of Iroh's hands clap together. "Ah! Good timing Lady Akane. We just finished."

Zuko frowned. A quick glance in the mirror showed his clothes weren't neat like he normally wore them. His uncle motioned for him to join him on the floor where Lady Akane set the treys of food. Zuko hurried over and sat in front of his trey of food. He ate slightly more than the day before; the fear of his grandfather no longer hindered his mind.

"This morning you'll be paying a visit to the royal physisians."

Zuko's head darted up. "Why?"

Iroh's eyes blinked. "Because... I'm not sure how to explain that one."

"Is it to make sure..."

His uncle was quick in correcting him. "No. It's not to prove you're worthy or not. It's more of..." The smile left Iroh's face. "Your grandfather and I are worried Ozai didn't just neglect you emotionally and mentally. We're hoping the physician will help us formulate a plan on how to best help you."

"I see." Zuko glanced away. "That is where we are heading after breakfast?"

"Yes."

He found himself staring at the food and taking only a few more bites. Iroh chatted away telling him some sort of story, yet Zuko's mind didn't register what his uncle said. Eventually, "Zuko?"

"Yes?"

"Perhaps we should just go and see the physician? Afterall, you seem as if you don't wish to eat anymore?"

Zuko didn't respond and stared at his food.

"Zuko? Are you worried about the visit? How have your previous visits gone?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I'm not unhealthy. I think father was hoping they'd say I was. If I was unhealthy..."

"Don't think like that."

"You know it's true. You know he'd rather I be dead."

"That..." Iroh's hands clenched slightly. "Perhaps this afternoon we should discuss why you would think like that?" Zuko glanced away. "Or perhaps that is a conversation you and I have another day? We can do something for fun instead."

"I guess." Zuko took a deep breath. "You don't have to go through so much trouble for me."

"You're worth the trouble. I'd go to the end of the world for both you and Lu Ten you know."

"You've been thinking about visiting the spirit world, haven't you?"

"Now why would you say that?"

"Isn't the spirit world the end of the world?"

"I guess you could say that. Don't mention this theory of yours to your grandfather. It will simply make him worry for not." Iroh let out a laugh. "It must seem strange hearing me say that of the Fire Lord."

"Yes. You're General Iroh, after all."

"Well, let's head to the physisians now." Iroh stood and held out his hand for Zuko's. The young prince took his hand and followed after the man. Visiting the royal physicians was nothing new, and yet the path Zuko took with his uncle was in fact a new one. Upon arrival he saw a different member of the royal physicians waiting for him than the one his father allocated for him and Azula.

In the back of his mind he wondered how many other things would change.