Chapter 9: I got moves like Jagger

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Sirius was there. Not the young Sirius that she has come to know and love, but her Sirius, her godfather. He was smiling so fondly and happily upon seeing her. She couldn't help it. She ran to hug him. He caught her with a bright smile.

"Heya, Harry. How have you been?", Sirius asked her softly.

"I am good. I am with my parents, Sirius. It's amazing. You are amazing too.", Harry told him as she continued to hug him.

"I know. It's like a dream, eh?", Sirius said softly as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I am so sorry, Sirius. Please, please forgive me for being an absolute idiot and believing that Voldemort had you. About not opening your gift. About leaving you all alone in that wretched house. I am so sorry.", Harry said tearfully as she pulled back, only to shriek as Voldemort was there in place of Sirius, grinning evilly at her.

Harry pulled back and tried to run away, but Voldemort caught hold of her hand.

"Your love was the reason for their deaths, Potter. As it will be again. I will take immense pleasure in making you suffer all over again. Knowing you can't stop it from happening, will destroy you.", Voldemort promised her as she tried to get out of his grasp.

"Look, look, how you are the cause for everyone death. Because of you, everyone has to die. Look!", Voldemort roughly held her face up.

There was her dad falling down dead as he tired to give his daughter and wife a chance to live. There was his mother begging for her daughter's life. Screaming as she fell down. There was Dumbledore falling off the tower because Harry was standing there useless to prevent him from dying. There was Remus falling down as Dolohov killed him.

Sirius and Bellatrix were fighting. Sirius laugh froze as Bellatrix hit him with the curse. Harry, somehow, managed to free her hand from the iron grip of Voldemort and ran towards her godfather. He was falling slowly, almost tauntingly, back. No matter how fast she ran, she couldn't come anywhere near him. She watched helpless as he fell through the veil.

She fell down on her knees as her dad, mom, Moony, Sirius and Dumbledore, all laid in front of her. Their eyes were dead staring at her and skin pale. Voldemort came forward with a glee.

"Your fault, Potter. You couldn't save a single person! Your fault...YOUR FAULT...YOUR FAULT..."

Harry woke up with gasp as tears rolled down her face. She needed to get out of here. She needed fresh air. She plucked her robe, closed her curtains and ran out of the dorm. Thankfully, Hermione and Ron were spending the night at the Room of Requirement. So she could wallow in her despair and self hatred without worrying them.

She ran through the castle and leaned against a tree. She crumbled down as their deaths kept playing on repeat in her mind. 'Your fault' kept playing in on a loop. God! She hated herself right now. Why was she alive when they all weren't? Her brain was refusing to listen to the argument that they were all alive and would be fine. She was changing it.

But she always fucked up in the end. Till they were all really safe, she had killed them and no one can tell her otherwise. Why did her parents give birth to her? They all could have lived. Everyone could have. So what if she wouldn't have been born, at least everyone else would have been alive. Why didn't her parents like any 21 year in midst of a war decide to abort? Why would they give their life for a girl who was mediocre at best? How is she supposed to save everyone?

She heard a whine close to her and saw Padfoot standing in front of her. He licked her tears, even as more kept falling down. She realized she was muttering 'I'm sorry' over and over again. Padfoot, somehow, managed to hug her and she broke down. Completely and utterly.

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