THE LOVER : Lucius Marco

[Veinticinco] GRACE

EMMANUELA's POV

It's just the matter of time that he might be using you.

I gulped the liquid that I drank from the canned liquor as I try to forget that statement that Tristan said a while ago.

Hindi ko maintindihan. Hindi ko naiintindihan. What does he mean that Lucius is more than what I think he is? He's merely a professor. Our professor. My professor.

My professor who fucked me..

I groaned as I held both of my temples, slowly burying my face on the dining table. "Emmanuelaaa," I heaved a sigh as I bit my lower lip while my forehead pressing on the table.

Tristan said he's using me. For what exactly? For his pleasure? I somehow felt my chest being heavy again but not as heavy as what I feel towards what happened in our family, that would be the heaviest I felt. Ayokong aminin but if he's just using me for his pleasure then I don't care.

God, Emmanuela. Ang bobo mo.

Tama lang siguro na bumagsak ang grades ko kasi ang bobo ko. Literal. But how can I refuse? Everytime I'm with him I can feel the feeling that I've been longing ever since I was a child. Safety.

The way he wrap his arms around me, the way he grab my waist and pull me close to him, the way he seals his lips with mine, the way he pressed his body on mine, the way he owns me. The way he said that he owns me. Everything feels like I'm in a bliss. It feels like I've been saved from that dark abyss I've been locked in for years. I want to stop myself but I know I wasn't trying. Why would I? Ginusto ko 'to. I know it's wrong but I never felt it being wrong.

I took another sip from the canned liquor.

I want do bad things when it comes to him..

"I can't refuse," bulong ko sa sarili ko habang tinititigan ang malamig na lata ng beer. I pull the can close to my lips then drink it straight. My face crumbled as I count the number of empty can on my table.

"One, two... five.." kumunot ang noo ko. "Five beers pero hindi pa ako nalalasi-" napatigil ako nang tiningnan ko ang label ng beer na iniinom ko.

Root beer. "Beer naman 'to ah-" I stopped when I've read something on the can.

Porkchop, Emmanuela. Ang bobo mo nga talaga.

I let out a frustrated sigh.

"It's non-alcoholic." I mumbled then threw the empty can of root beer in my hand on the floor.

Nakakainis. I've wasted my money for nothing.

I leaned my back on the chair as I heaved another sigh. I won't be able to sleep peacefully tonight again. How can I? When that Tristan- the jerk who told me things about the man I want moved my thoughts about him. Why can just anyone let me live in peace?

I bit my lowerlip as I grabbed my phone and opened it. The notification on my lockscreen about the unread message from him is still there.

Unopened notification:

Message from @CiusMarco on Instagram:
Are u still at home? It's almost 9. Baka sarhan ka ng gate.

"Why are you like this?" I murmured as I stare at the unopened notif. I was expecting him not to lay any attention to me even though thinking of it hurts me, but why? Why does he cares? He's acting like he cares so much about me and that I'm so precious for him. I get to be treated like a princess. But why did Tristan said he's following orders? Why did he said you're more than just a professor? What's with your family? What's with the Marco?