Express The Distress

love is

Love is a pretty boy you met at the movies who walks around in red wing boots and sometimes blue van shoes. Portraying casual even though under it all he's unmistakably wild. And now that you know him you can't imagine not knowing him. You spend most of your weekends together, laying in your Adirondack blue room talking about anything and everything, watching movies he picks out.

It always starts out as you laying side by side, not touching and keeping your hands to yourself. It always starts out that way but as the movie plays, the 'hands to yourself' slowly begins to fall away. First, it's subtle, he angles his body towards yours as you watch out of the corner of your eye pretending not to notice. Then it's a brush of his leg, followed by a hand on your thigh.

And it's not like you can pretend not to notice anymore. No, you definitely couldn't when tingles surfaced your hot skin close behind. So you look at him through your lashes, seeing the brightness of his russet brown eyes even in the dark and the half hooded smile hiding in plain sight.

For a moment you just stare wondering why such a pretty boy was in your bed and in your room hanging out with someone like you. But quickly the thought fades because he looks at you in that way that makes all the insecurities you have slip away. And your hand falls on top of his on your thigh and you don't even realize the pull of your lips angling up towards the sky in a smile you yourself don't recognize.

It's like you're connected because he scoots closer and so do you, producing negative space. His lips press down on your forehead and inside you are swarmed with warmth stretching states wide and cloud height tall. In your head, you try to memorize this moment, this feeling, because the boy next to you is beautiful. He makes this world beautiful and you don't want to ever forget it.

Because the pretty boy you met at the movies is the same pretty boy who has cut open your chest and climbed into your heart creating a home for himself that you hadn't even given him a key for. And the fact that he didn't need a key to access such a valuable, vulnerable part of you scared you.

It scared you because you never wanted this, right here, right now to go away. Because you have never felt 'right' before. But this, this was right. And the thought of imagining this feeling going away physically hurt you to a degree you couldn't describe because you didn't know anything could be so powerful.

You knew the pretty boy lying flush next to you had changed your world and you knew he was the very same boy who also had the power to make it come crashing down.

You now understand what love is looking into his eyes. Love is a pretty boy with smooth lips and a tummy turning laugh. Love is a beautiful boy who has the power to break you into a billion pieces but you put your trust in him not to.