Express The Distress

lonely

Lonely

An echo in my ears when I'm alone. The lights dim low and still no one's home. I wait for a text, a call, a notification, anything, but it doesn't come. Does anyone care about my welfare? Can they really be that unaware?

The silence slithers through the lacerated lines of my arms, where I draw with my nails painting art on my skin loving the saccharine smell of the pomegranate juice looking liquid as it drips in raindrops. Your favorite color, a coincidence no?

When your gone, I'm here. But it's okay, the voices keep me company more than you ever do. They listen closely when you ignore me for days, and they give me advice to calm the boiling rage in my blood as it sizzles my ears.

The thing is, my surroundings are always so quiet, too quiet. But the noises inside of me can be deafening especially when all my thoughts are stolen by you. Sometimes I blame you, you're the cause and I have no solutions.

It's you who makes me this way, it's you who ghosts me after you've gotten your fill. It's me who's left waiting, it's me who's left wondering if you'll come back and if each time I see you will be the last.

So I listen to them because they get me, they make me feel better while I wait. The burn it brings reminds me of how your touch feels on my skin, the color reminds me of my cheeks when you talk sweet to me, the same color as your bloody lips.

Night and day I wait, through blue sky's and grey, rain and sun, for you to come. I'm lonely for you, going crazy for you, unstable for you.