Express The Distress

pain

you're sick and i can't help you. i hate myself because you're suffering. you're everything this world needs, the kind of special i didn't know existed. but you're in pain, so much pain and there's nothing i can do about it.

the doctors are a joke, their job is save but without money they send you away.

and it's my fault i can't take care of you. you're my responsibility and i can't fucking provide you the care that you need. it hurts my head, and whenever i look at you my heart shatters.

you still smile, but it only makes me cry. you're fighting, you don't give up and that hurts the most. you shouldn't have to fight, you shouldn't have to suffer, but you are.

i love you, so goddamn much. but it means nothing because it's not enough.

i'm hurting but you're hurting more. i try to be strong but you're the strong one.

what i'm saying is you deserve better. you deserve the world and all i can give you is my empty wallet, my worthless love, and my pathetic home remedies. i don't want you to go, i don't want you to leave me, but most of all i don't want to let you go.

i'm selfish. if you go, i'm left with nothing but your absence. you are what makes the hollowness full, the happy moments precious.

i'm afraid to sleep, i'm afraid to wake up and find you gone.

i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.

i hope you get better because hope is all i've got. my prayers are yours, all of them, so i hope it's not to much to ask for you to keep fighting.

fuck doctors, fuck friends, fuck family. fuck this fucking world full of greed. were all we've got. because empathy is rare and kindness is scarse.

nothing is ever fair.

if it's only a little time that we have just know no matter what i love you so.

if not a miracle, know this, you were a miracle to me.