“Aicia wala kang pasok?” Nakapameywang na tanong ni uncle, “ang gulo ng nangyayari sa university niyo. Buti nalang at isang taon nalang at graduation na.” Aniya. “At mas mabuti dahil lumipat ka na rito hindi na ako magigisa sa pag-aalala,” nginitian ko siya.
Halos ilang araw na ang nakalipas nang lumipat ako sa bahay niya. My mama’s house and uncle’s is now merged mas naging malawak at malaki ang bahay namin, he care for me like his own daughter pampering and spoiling me non-stop. The moment he saw me in his front door uncle cried in happiness. Ang kwarto ko’y halatang pinaghandaan dahil napakalaki at mukhang mamahalin ang mga furnitures. Rally after rally until the trial came for Simon’s case. I avoided anything connected to him although deep inside I'm praying for a miracle, to win his case.
Sa huli naming pagkikita ay ayos na siya nakakalakad at mga pekas na lamang ang naiwan sa kanyang mukha. If his reason is more important than including me to his life then I bid him best wishes. I closed the book that have been my favorite ‘til teenage days. “I received advance classes uncle. Kaya wala na akong dapat ipag-alala we're also done with our mid terms I have no pending requirements to aid. So inshort I'm free,” uncle took a deep breath. “And of course I'm fine.”
Bakas na bakas ang pag-aalinlangan sakanya. “Kung gusto mong magsabi lagi lang akong nandito, anak. Please, talk to me and stop carrying all the burden by yourself. Pamilya tayo,” as an answer I stood up and went to him. I hugged him as tight as I could. “Nothing can beat the feeling of seeing you being happy, Aicia you're the light who replace your mother.. Light that she left on my darkest day.” Siguro, ewan. Inaya ko nalang si uncle na kumain nauna na ito sa paglalakad papunta sa kusina.
I was about to follow him when I stopped. Napahawak ako sa padee upang kumuha ng lakas bigla-bigla kasi akong nawawala sa balanse at parang nanghihina ang katawan ko kung minsa’y sumisikip ang dibdib. Napasinghap ako ng sa isang iglap ay bumagsak ako sa sahig, it created a loud noise that uncle panicked. His face was full of fears seeing me laying at the ground while looking at my hands shaking like crazy.
Scared. “U... Uncle,” I uttered.
____
Medication after medication. I was hospitalized I could go back to my normal life although I have to sacrifice months to recover. Uncle never told me what the doctor found out nor let me talk to the doctors and ask. He was just telling me to be okay and everything will be fine. Naging kampante ako, naniwala sa sinabi ni uncle na darating ang araw na gagaling rin ako. Siguro ay sadyang mahina lang ang mga buto ko o kung ano pa man, maybe its because of the genetics. I don't know.
Masking all the doubts away, waiting for the question to fade uncle acted like nothing is wrong. Magiging ayos ako baka bukas babalik na iyong lakas. I entertained myself by watching some videos on youtube I'm not active on social media but something pulled me into logging in.
Agad na tumambad sa akin ang mga litrato namin ni Simon I only have fifty friends and Simon is the most active among them. Panay siya ang nakikita ko sa newsfeed him sharing some memes and tagging me, him commenting on pages mentioning me and him posting something about me. Para ngang ako na ang may-ari ng account niya the last post was the last time we talk to each other before the fraternity incident.
Something pinch my chest, cool off lang naman ang ibinigay ko hindi ba? Dapat nga break ang kaso alam ko sa sarili na wala akong lakas para bitawan siya. Bulag na bulag na ako dahil sa pagmamahal ko sakanya, kumusta na kaya si Simon? Bumalik na ba siya dati? Babalikan niya pa ba ako? Mapait akong natawa. Hipokrita ka Aicia ikaw ‘tong nanghingi ng cool off pero malakas naman mangulila.
YOU ARE READING
Blinding Lights
General Fiction[FIN] Being a college student is tough. You're now at a level of your life where you could be a light for someone else however, Aicia Gueco a third year BSA student is sailing without any direction on life. Afraid of rejections, afraid of criticism...
