With Love, Merlin

Chapter 4

Merlin's POV

I woke up the next morning around five to birds chirping. I ran my hand through my hair. I had fallen asleep on the table, my letter to Arthur next to me. I smiled and stood up. I stumbled to the shower; I couldn't remember the last time I had taken one. For whatever reason, I started to take care of myself now. I brushed my teeth yesterday for the first time in weeks. I think maybe it's because I have people that care about me now. Jade and I have become close friends. I've tried to not become attached to her. I've learned that people and relationships are temporary. People die constantly even when you least expect it, so what's the point in getting attached? It's only going to worsen the pain.
     Shane is also good company as well. I see him quite often since I'm always at the diner. I'd consider him a friend. He still gives me free coffee sometimes. I guess it's sort of his way of showing he cares about me. Maybe Jade and Shane are the reason I feel the need to care about myself. They are proof that people can still care about, so maybe I feel the need to care about myself? It doesn't make sense, but I felt the same with Noah. He loved me and I loved myself too. I loved myself whenever Arthur was alive too. I had him and the knights. They were my friends and they cared for me. Jade and Shane are my friends and they care for me.

     About an hour later Merlin was in his car driving to the remains of Camelot. He watched as birds flew ahead and leaves on trees swayed with the wind. The road, per usual, was empty. Not many people traveled on this road as it didn't lead anywhere important. Merlin looked around. Aside from the radio playing, there wasn't much exciting happening. He was reminded of Jade. She felt so free. There wasn't anything exciting happening when she was in the car with him and yet she was still so free spirited. Merlin rolled the window down and stuck his arm out the window. He stretched it out as if he was trying to touch the sun. The warmth of its rays felt good on Merlin's pale skin. He didn't go out much and wasn't used to the feeling of the sun. It felt nice. Maybe that was what made Jade feel so free. She enjoyed being outside and was the happiest person Merlin knew. Was that part of happiness?
     A little while later, Merlin arrived in front of piles of stone. Miss covered most of the ruins. His home. Camelot. He stepped out of his car and opened the back door. Merlin pulled cleaning supplies out of his car. He walked over to the aged castle and started wiping the dirt off.
     "I hope this makes up for all the cleaning I never did, Arthur. You would always ask me to clean something. I cleaned less than half of them," Merlin laughed. "I hope the castle will meet your standards my lord." Once again Merlin laughed. He continued to remove moss and dirt from the remains of Camelot. He was careful since the stone was fragile. Animals that had taken shelter in the ruins watched Merlin. The sun shone over the mighty kingdom, which gave Merlin strength. Merlin moved from pile to pile. With each pile came an artifact from the great kingdom. A stray piece of cloth, the tip of a sword, parts of a woven basket. Merlin picked up each item he found. He had a collection of relics from Camelot in his apartment. Suddenly, Merlin's foot ran into a large piece of wood. He looked down to see a plank of wood with various stains. He picked it up to examine it. Merlin then burst out laughing.
"Arthur, look! It's a piece of the stocks. Look all the vegetables I had thrown at me stained it." Merlin continued to laugh some more.
Merlin gathered his things and went back to his car. He placed his finding in the back and drove off.
On his way home, Merlin stopped at Shane's. Merlin parked his car but noticed something off. Shane was sitting on the porch with the diner locked.
"Shane, what's going on? Why is the diner closed?" Panic arose in Merlin's voice.
"Don't worry my boy. Only renovations. We are getting a new floor put in. It should be done soon though. Coffee?" Shane extended his arm which held a disposable coffee cup. Merlin walked up to his and took the beverage.
"Thanks Shane. For everything you know." Shane smiled.
"Anything for my best customer!" Merlin chuckled and looked down at the pavement. All was silent for a moment.
"Merlin, can I ask you something?" Merlin turned to face Shane.
"Yes of course."
"Why do you come here so often Merlin? I love your company, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. You don't come with anyone either, except the girl you brought. You've also been coming since the day I opened up shop." Merlin sighed and thought for a moment.
"I enjoy your company too Shane. That isn't the main reason I come here though," Merlin sighed. "I had a very close friend to me. It feels like forever ago. The lake of Avalon was very important to him. Coming here reminds me of him."
"If you don't mind me asking Merlin, what happened to your friend? Did he move?" The world
was silent for a few seconds.
"He died. Awhile ago. He was murdered but I never got over his death. Coming here helps me cope I guess. It reminds me of him." Shane patted Merlin's shoulder.
"I'm sorry buddy."
"It's alright. It was a long time ago." Merlin glanced over at the sparkling lake. The sun illuminated all the life in it and turned the water a clear blue. Shane wrapped his arm around Merlin and squeezed his shoulder. It was his way of letting Merlin know he was there for him.