With Love, Merlin

Chapter 6

Merlin's POV

     I practically forced myself out of bed. My world had once again come to a halt. I'm going to be isolated from people again, which won't do me any good. I'm hoping Jade is right. That this is just going to be like a cold that goes as quickly as it came. Something in me says otherwise though. I feel like it is a repeat of the Black Death. Many have died already, and it's only just begun. Maybe I should go back to therapy. Sure I was an asshole to Julie, but there are other therapists. Maybe I should move to the States and escape my problems. I know it won't solve anything, but it's comforting to think it might. Perhaps I should disappear forever this time. There's no use for me since the tower isn't operating.
     I don't need to cope anymore either. I wouldn't say I'm fully over Arthur's death, but I'm pretty damn close. I don't write letters as frequently mainly because I don't need to. It's funny how Jade and Shane were able to do what I couldn't in a few months. I had been "trying" for hundreds of years. Maybe I should take time to myself. Jade and Shane have gotten me where I am today, and I'm forever grateful, but they can only do so much. I need to help myself. Which leads to the hardest truth I just face: I need to stop going to the lake.
     I've been thinking recently, and upon reflection, visiting the lake is only holding me back. That sounds like such a childish thing to say, but it's true. It's time I live my life the way i not just want, but need. I need to get out of this loop. I need to take control of my life. I need to say goodbye to Arthur.

     Merlin grabbed his car keys and left the apartment. The roads were empty. Not a soul dares to step foot outside. It was a ghost town. Even as he drove for miles upon miles, Merlin didn't see any sign of life. The world had stopped.
     Merlin finally reached the diner and parked his car. Shane wasn't there, neither was Max. It looked abandoned: all the lights were off and the doors were bolted shut. It was surreal. Merlin sighed and walk towards the sparkling lake. For even in such a dark time, Avalon remained as beautiful as ever. Merlin stopped by the shore.
     "Avalon, it is time I go. Forever this time. In the hundreds of years since Camelot, I've learned a few things.
     It's important to honor and remember the past, but you can't let your future be a puppet to it. I need to be free puppet master. I need to live a life in which I want. One where I'm not held back by my trauma from the past. I recognize this isn't going to happen overnight, but what I'm doing now is a big step in my recovery.
     I've also finally healed after Arthur's death I think. For once, I think I can confidently say that. I don't want your influence on me changing that. I think I am happy now. Maybe not as happy as when Arthur would throw water at my head, but I'm doing pretty damn good. I'm sure this time too. I need to do this for myself." Merlin paused only for a moment. "God I sound so stupid right now. I sound like a child, but I'm honestly ok with that.
     So, my dear lake, this is where we part. Thank you for being a home. Not only to me, but to the king of Camelot as well. Watch over him since I cannot. Thank you for your hospitality. I wish you well during these uncertain times." Merlin's gave a final glance at the glistening lake, only for a moment though. He turned around to leave, however he was interrupted.
    A crunching sound terminated the awkward silence. There were squeaky aspects to it to. A strangely familiar, yet eerie sound. Merlin turned his head frantically.
     "Who's there? I-" Merlin stopped dead in his tracks. As had the king of Camelot who was now standing in front of him.
     "Tell me, Merlin, what makes you think you can leave when I've only just arrived?"

The End :)

*read the authors note after this*