POT OF POTION

reminiscing

do you still wake to sunsets ?

i remember the days where you weren't able to sleep, thoughts filling your head like water cascading into your body.

eat home alone ?

news of people dying due to the disease that spread was all over the news and it made you anxious, worried something might happen to you or your loved ones you stayed locked up in your home, ordering take outs and sandwiches.

watching the moon rise
askin' on and on

you called me sometimes, when you weren't able to sleep. i calmed you down, everything was going to be fine, i assured you multiple times. but i never wondered if you fell reassured.

what's gone wrong ?

maybe it's because i didn't come by. or maybe your anxiety took hold of you, hands wrapped around your neck, turning you blue.

how you've been doin ?

i'm glad you called me before it was too late. a chuckle escapes your lips, making my heart grow wings as it started to flutter around looking for a way to escape. i was glad i called you that night.

you sleeping alright ?

you used to take pills sometimes, if it became too much. the loud voices in your head and your heart causing a commotion inside of you.

i'm worried your tears
still wake you up at night

sobs made your body tremble against mine as i held you, my heart couldn't bear seeing you cry. it felt like the all the happiness in the world was vacuumed away, leaving only the grey behind. it was a state i saw you in most nights.

and you know why

the thoughts that filled your head, the ones you would tell me about sometimes. i was worried it would get too much for you and so i tried to keep you safe from it.

but you don't know why
at the same time

yet. it happened, the nights of staying up, dried tear stains on your cheeks, the water in your head that was full, leaking through the small cracks it made due to the pressure. it all became too hard to bear, so you left.

who, who, who

now i'm all alone trying to fill up a part of me you took leaving a gaping hole where my heart used to be, it's wings clipped.

JAY'S NOTES 💭
👎👎👎eaj 👍👍👍50 proof