On The Wings of A Dragon

6. Relief

It had been two days since Harry had been at the Manor.  Two days of him wondering what the hell he was going to say when he went back, and two days of no sleep, wondering if Draco was okay.  His mother hadn't been lying when she said Draco looked different.  He wanted to go back, but he didn't want to intrude or impose.  He had been invited, he had been asked to help, but now he wasn't so sure he knew how to do that.  He wanted to help Draco, he really did, but you can only help those who want to be helped.

Narcissa was beside herself with worry.  "Why did you send him away Draco, he was here for you, he wants to make sure you are all right", she said.  

"Since when does Potter give a shit about anything other than himself and his fame mother.  And just so you know, I am perfectly all right, thank you", he scoffed.

"No you're not", she stated back with an air of authority.  "You haven't been yourself for a while now.  You are broken, Harry is broken, hell we all are.  But we all need to heal Draco", she pleaded.  "You have to know this", she said.

"You think I'm broken?", he whispered. 

"That's not what I meant, and you know it.  I mean that your spirit is broken, and it has every right to be.  You fought in a bloody war Draco, and you deserve to be broken.  But you also deserve to be whole again.  Don't you want that?  To laugh with your friends, to have picnics down by the lake, to go on dates, and just enjoy life?"

He looked at his mother and his resolve crumbled.  He sank to his knees and burst into tears, holding his head in his hands.  Stuttering, he started talking, and he didn't stop for fear of not being able to have the opportunity again.  

"We were children.  We were fuck....fucking children god dammit.  We didn't know what a war was.  We were used and then thrown away like trash, and I....I... hate it.  I hate feeling so useless.  I hate feeling so powerless, like I don't have a purpose.  I don't even want to live anymore mother, please.....", and Draco kept sobbing.  

His mother rushed to him, and knelt down next to him.  Taking him in her arms, she rubbed his back, and cried with him.  She was going to tell him how she was feeling as well, but this moment wasn't about her.  It was about him, and how he felt.  Thoughts of losing him to suicide made her want to throw up, and before she had a chance to open her mouth, Draco carried on with his rant.  

"Why Potter.  I don't understand.  Does he want something from me for saving me from Azkaban.  Please, I can't......I don't....I don't want to see him, and I certainly don't want his help mother, please....", he begged.

"Perhaps it is him that needs yours Draco", she simply answered.  He raised his head to look at her.  Tears streaking down his pale face, his eyes red from all the crying, he tried to snort back his laughter.  

"Yeah right, the golden boy asking a death eater for help", he spat, and as soon as those words left his mouth, he started crying again, as if he only just realized that his future was doomed.  Because he had a fucking dark mark on his once beautiful skin.

"Why don't we find out?", she asked.  "I will invite Harry for tea, and then we can take it from there.  All I ask is that you are present when he arrives, and then you can make your own decision.  If that's what you want".  She waited with baited breath for Draco to answer, and if his shakes and sobbing were anything to go by, it was going to be a while before he did.

After a while, his sobs turned into hiccups, and the shaking had stopped.  He would let out a shudder now and again, and with his face buried in his mother's neck, sitting on the soft carpet at the foot of his bed in his room, he felt comfort for the first time in many years.  He couldn't remember when was the last time he had let himself go like this.  He wondered what his father would think!  But as soon as that thought entered his mind, it left again.  They were going to do things to heal, and Lucius Malfoy was not in the equation.

Eventually, he left her embrace and looked into her eyes.  She smiled softly at him and asked if he felt better.  "Yes thank you mother", he replied with a croaky voice.  He was thirsty, and he knew he had a hell of long road to follow to even think of becoming the man he used to be.  But he was willing to work at it, if not for anyone else but his mother.  She had been sad at his words, and he had been the one to make her feel sad.  He smiled back at her, and together they made plans on how to go about inviting Harry back to the Manor.

Draco still couldn't grasp what the savior wanted with him, but when he remembered the way that Potter had smiled at him the day of his trial, he felt warmth.  Warmth and relief had flooded his whole body, as if he had let go of something heavy.  They both stood up, and with a promise to make every day count from here on out, they parted ways.  His mother went back to her lounge to write letters, and Draco went and took a hot shower to get rid of some of the tension that was still in his shoulders.

Stepping under the hot water was amazing.  He knew his mother had gone to write an invite to Potter, and he knew that when the golden boy came calling, he would have to apologize for his behavior.  Not because his mother had asked him to, but because it was the right thing to do.  He had over reacted, and let's face it.  He had enjoyed watching Potter for the two weeks that he had been hiding behind the door.  It seemed that Potter had changed a lot of things about himself.  

But he wasn't sure about him being the one that needed help.  Maybe that was his mother's way of telling him, that he needed a friend, and who better than Harry Potter.  If he is the only one willing to come and visit you, doesn't that count for something?  

Doesn't that at least count for Draco to give him some of his so called precious time?  And do you really want to hate him, or have you been conditioned to do so?