Percy Jackson and the Department of Mysteries

47) Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

"I think you need to perfect your grammar, because there's no way that wasn't a run on sentence," I called, then grimaced.

Umbridge had received some short claps from the teachers, and was looking at me in shock. She was at a loss for words.

"I mean, you definitely prepared that speech," I said, cringing as my brain told my mouth to shut up, but my heart just screeched happily. "You were talking of pruning things, maybe you should prune the speech. It was boring."

"Well," Umbridge said, sounding slightly breathless. "I do believe I've come across the first thing that needs to be changed. Students will always remember to respect their professors." The hall was silent, staring between us.

I almost said respect this dick, but managed instead to say, "I don't respect people who decide to come into my school and announce they're going to change things, when things that need to be changed will be changed in time. Don't prune the process, dear Umbridge. Things have a way of working out." I think maybe that was a worse thing to say.

"Please meet me at midnight, Mr. Jackson," Umbridge said, smiling at me. "We will discuss this further in private." It wasn't a kind smile. It was the kind of smile that said if you don't cut it out, I'm going to cut you. Personally, I didn't want to be cut.

I got the message. In fact, I think everyone got the message. We wouldn't be discussing anything. This would be a punishment. A detention with Umbridge.

"Sure thing," I said. "Who's bringing the —?"

Justin elbowed me in the stomach, and a good thing, too. I would've gotten double detention.

Dumbledore sent me a smile — a proud one, but his eyes held warning. He nodded at Umbridge, then continued telling us about Quidditch tryouts.

"That was a weird speech," Hannah said softly, looking a little confused.

"Yeah," I said, frowning, "it was."

I don't think they understood what her speech had been about then, but it wouldn't take them long for it to sink in. Umbridge being here — it meant the Ministry was interfering at Hogwarts.

There was a loud bustle of movement, and I knew Dumbledore had dismissed us.

"Firsties!" I called, standing up and looking around. "Come up here, I'll show you where you're going to spend the rest of your itty bitty year."

The first years shyly approached Hannah and me, who were waiting while the rest of our peers went to our common room.

"All right, follow us and we'll show you how to get into the common room — one of you will even get to choose our new password," Hannah said kindly, and we started walking, the firsties following behind us like ducklings.

"What's up, Percy?" The girl from the train, Rose, asked me, sounding very much like she was trying to be a cool kid from a bad Disney 2000s movie.

"Your mom's legs," I said.

"My mom is dead," Rose said, frowning.

"Ever heard of necrophilia?" I asked.

"Yeah," Rose said. "I learned it from your mom."

I froze, turned to Rose with wide eyes, and said, "Good response." I was impressed. "Want to be dead-mom pals?"

"Oh, my mom isn't actually dead, I was just hoping you'd shut up," Rose smirked. "But I guess your mom isn't dead, either."

"Oh, no, you hit the nail on the head with that joke earlier," I said. "She is dead."

"Damn," Rose said, and I was vaguely shocked — it was weird, hearing language like that from someone so young (I neglected to remember that I had cursed so much when I was her age, and that younger kids at camp cursed almost constantly). "That sucks."

"Yeah," I shrugged. "What's your favorite song?"

"Humuhumunukunukuapua'a."

"Did you just lay a curse on me?" I recoiled.

"No," Rose looked at me like I'd been the one to curse her. "It's a deleted scene from Highschool Musical 2."

I stared at her blankly for a moment, then turned to Hannah as we arrived at the barrels, "Rosie here is picking the song."

"Don't call me Rosie."

"What song?" Hannah asked.

"Humunumunumunumunumpuaa," I said.

"What?" Hannah blinked.

"Humuhumunukunukuapua'a," Rosie corrected.

"That's what I said," I said.

"No, you said humunumunum —"

"Just, tap out the beat of the song on these barrels, Hogwarts will do the rest," Hannah interrupted tiredly, and Rosie did as told.

The firsties filed in, leaving Hannah and me to stand outside for a moment. Rosie sent one last glance at me, then followed the others inside.

"You shouldn't have said that to Umbridge," Hannah said.

"Someone's going to have to speak for the people," I said sagely.

"Why does it have to be you, though?" Hannah wasn't looking at me.

"Because.... Because I can handle it," I said, taking a moment to think about it.

"You shouldn't have to handle it," Hannah's eyes found mine.

"I know. But someone has to... and I'd rather it be me."

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you guys have had a wonderful day of love, whether you received any or not. Personally, I quite like just sitting at home on Valentines, knowing that everyone else is stuck in traffic. I also I'm aero/ace though, so maybe Valentine's blues just don't apply. Also, that song... my sister played it. I think it's in the Worst Songs to Have Sex to playlist. Idk. It's great. Sharpay is simply one of the best people ever. I love her. Screw Gabriella and Troy, gimme some of that Sharpay and Ryan (Ryan is great, he might be my favorite. Loved that scene in the second movie where Chad and Ryan switched outfits. It was hilarious, and possibly homoerotic, but idk if Disney would have ever allowed that). I quite like the song, it's very entertaining. The first time I heard it I think I just nearly collapsed.

Anyway, I hope you guys have had a lovely Valentines Day (hehe, get it? Lovely?), and I'll see you on Wednesday CT. Love ya!