Never Ending

If Only

This is gonna be a long story...

"I can tell you it's not very loving like this." I respond

Antonio responds "Maybe not but it's still a family."

He was right though I didn't want to admit it. I sigh and turn towards Antonio. To give me full attention he looks At me leaning forward a little bit to show he is listening.

I begin "I don't have a dad. My mom is an alcoholic who sleeps with Guys nearly every day and I'm an only child. When I was 12 something happened to my mom... she just changed. I was too young to understand but one thing I knew was that things would never be the same..."

Antonio asks "What do you mean change?"

I respond "We used to bond. Even tho we don't have a lot in common we still found ways around that. Now all she does is drink and screw guys. She doesn't even know these guys' names."

Antonio places his hand on mine on my lap and asks "Did they do this to you?"

I look at Antonio. How did he know? "One of them... I would rather not get into detail.. How did you know?"

"I'm a detective Mija. I could tell with how you've been playing with your hands and not giving direct eye contact with me while talking about your mother."

My eyes widen. Well fuck. How much does he know about me just from our conversation??

I hesitate "H... How much do you know about me from this conversation?"

Antonio shrugs "Not much dear. I have only been talking to you for 10 minutes. I may be a detective but I can't figure out a person's whole life in a few minutes. I should probably tell you about myself as well right?"

I shrug as well "If you want to. I know you are a detective, your accent tells me you are Puerto Rican and the poster also told me the family I'm assuming is Puerto Rican as well. Mostly at least. And from the photos on the hallway wall, you are also very close to your family as well."

Antonio raises his eyebrows impressed "You're good. You are very observant, I'm impressed."

I shrug looking down "When you don't have friends you tend to pay more attention to your surroundings. You analyze people. Not in the weird stalky way though. And when you constantly argue with your mom you tend to grow numb and not care."

His face turns into a frown and he places his hand on my shoulder. The memories from last night quickly flood my mind and I quickly swipe his hand away. I don't know what it was. He looked confused but understanding "Is everything ok? I didn't mean to frighten you"

I loosen up scooting away "I'm fine. Just got chills."

He must've known I was lying but decided to leave it at that. Antonio stands up signifying he was about to leave and takes his hand out for a hand shake

"It was nice to meet you Kris, I wish you well and heal soon as well. I have to head to work"

I take his hand and shake firm "Nice to meet you too Detective and thank you again for everything"

Antonio leaves. I lean in on the couch dreading the fact that I have to leave soon. I can't be here forever. I go on camera on my phone and check my face. It looks like it's healing a little. Is anything I could cover it with makeup. I should start leaving I don't want to burden this sweet family...

I get up and walk into the kitchen to find Maria. She wasn't there. I continue to the room I woke up in and check to see if I am missing anything. After i pack everything up and look for Maria finding her in the master bedroom. I gently knock on the door

"Come in!"

I open the door gently and send a soft smile to receive one in return "What is it Mija?" Maria asks

"I should start heading home now. Thank you for everything Maria I really do appreciate it."

María frowns "You don't have to go if you don't want to. We are happy to have you here"

I sigh "I know but my mom is still my family. I love your family, your all very loving but I have to go home"

María nods "Ok, if you ever need someone our door is always open Mija"

After waving goodbye i leave the house. The whole way home I feel dread and sadness from last night, having to face my mother and leaving that amazing family.

If only all families could be this way

If only all parents loved their kids

If only there was no sadness or hate in the world

If only people wouldn't give up

If only...