𝐀𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 | 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

-Chapter Twenty-Two-

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I despise your happiness

I loathe the fact that you took it and left me here

I hate that I wasn't enough for you

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"So your telling me after you made a big deal about not joining that you want to join the rebellion?" Did Appleleaf sound annoyed or was Lionpaw twisting her words into something they weren't? Lionpaw's tail swished from side to side nervously. She was quite aware that her fur had spiked up around her making her look like a walking fluff ball. Why  are you being so nervous mousebrain?! If you two were really friends you wouldn't be such a scaredy mouse around her! Lionpaw took a deep breath trying to calm herself or at least shut out her own nasty thoughts, unfortunately the breath did neither.

"Yes." Her voice shook a little although Appleleaf didn't seem to notice. Appleleaf's emotions didn't seem to shift or even become more clear as to what they were. 

"You aren't even going to say sorry." It wasn't a question it wasn't even really a statement it was just a blunt sentence. It was so unlike Appleleaf to be like this, so unlike her to speak like that.

"I'm sorry, Appleleaf." Lionpaw whispered quietly meaning every word, she didn't want to lose her friend the way she lost everyone else, she didn't want to do something else wrong.

Appleleaf didn't seem to buy it "What happened to all the melodramatic 'this person died because I hoped' stuff?" She snapped at Lionpaw. Yup, she's definitely angry at me Lionpaw thought letting out a small sigh as Appleleaf's words raked at her heart.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, it was totally different and dumb I was just scared of losing you guys." She sighed and continued "You and Skyfire are the closest things I have to friends."

Appleleaf's expression softened slightly, "No you mousebrain! Me and Skyfire aren't the closest things you have to friends..." See you two aren't friends or even close to being friends! Your just a horrible apprentice that no body likes. She thought, or maybe the voice thought it as it clearly didn't see itself and Lionpaw as the same person. Appleleaf continued on "We are your friends, and you'll never lose us no matter what." 

No matter what. Those words calmed Lionpaw and made her feel as though everything would be ok a feeling she hadn't had for a very long time. Slowly Lionpaw let out a the breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. "So - So you forgive me?" Her words rushed against her lips fast and unsure. 

"Of course I do! I'd be a horrible best friend if I didn't!" Appleleaf meowed her voice squeaking on some words. Best friend... Appleleaf is my Best friend. Something as simple as that made Lionpaw feel so happy and so sad that she wanted to break down.  "Now come on! You'll need to see Skyfire! Just wait till he finds out." Even now Lionpaw could see the moony look Appleleaf adopted every time she mentioned Skyfire. It won't be long until their mates and your just a useless third wheel! The voice spat. Even though Appleleaf had quieted the voice with all her friendship it wasn't enough to completely silence the voice, it would never be enough. Lionpaw followed Appleleaf as she went to the Warriors den flinching every time she heard the ground squelch beneath her feet. A large treacherous river stretching across the base of Sunclan's mountains usually separated her from the wet and miserable wetlands of Moonclan but sadly she and her friends had had to cross that river to escape death at the teeth of a horrible dog and now they were stuck here in Moonclan under the watchful eye of it's tyrannical leader, Ashstar. 

Lionpaw let out a breath of awe. They had reached Moonclan's Warrior den. Up close the mosaic shells on the front of the den were so much more beautiful then she'd thought they were earlier. The light that reflected off the shining shells bounced onto the otherwise bleak ground in a whirl of different shades of red. Lionpaw didn't have long to admire it before being dragged inside by Appleleaf.

The warriors' den was easily the biggest den in camp, as it was in most clans. Inside were a dozen moss nests each lined with feathers of different birds shunted to the side of the den was what looked like a small meeting place. Sunclan's warrior den had been quite like this, but she hadn't taken time to truly admire it. Standing in the center of the meeting place was Skyfire, his ginger fur looked like flames and his eyes like an empty sky. Lionpaw could see why he got his name. Appleleaf kept on leading her towards him. Lionpaw almost wanted to stop walking and run away. That horrible vulnerable feeling seeped back into her bones making her feel horrendous. You vile, pathetic excuse for a cat! Keep walking weakling. The voice spat at her; its words seemed to echo in her head. She took one step after the other until she reached Skyfire. Skyfire's blue eyes scanned her. His expression was blank and slightly mistrustful. "I thought you didn't want to be a part of the rebellion." It was less of a question and more of an accusation and Lionpaw couldn't help but wilt slightly under her friend's gaze. How do you ever expect to be a warrior when you crack under the tiniest bit of pressure?! The voice snarled inside her head, forcing her to speak.

"I was scared... I'd heard about MoonClan's previous rebellion, and I thought the same thing wouldn't happen to our rebellion..." She looked up at her warrior friend. "But denying these MoonClan cats help is an act of cowardice... and I-" her voice hitched, and she tried again. "I don't want to be a coward anymore." This seemed to be enough for Skyfire. He nodded and beckoned her over with a flick of his tail.