End Of Passion Play - {James Hetfield/Metallica}

Chapter 1|"I'm 27!"

July 1990

I sat on top of a giant Marshall amp with James, his arms secured around my waist.

We were at Lars' house for rehearsal, but it was late at night now and we were all just being dorks, listening to music and fooling around. That was how it usually went after rehearsal, and I loved it. When I first joined the band, I was worried about fitting in. But I quickly realized how stupid I was to worry about it.

Kirk was teasing Lars about finding a Madonna porn tape at his house earlier. I was laughing my ass off listening to their conversation.

James rested his head on my shoulder. I could smell the heavy scent of alcohol on his breath. The smile melted off my face.

"How much have you drank?" I whispered, concerned.

"Not that much!" he replied.

"You do know what my parents are gonna think if you come home drunk, right?".

James sighed. "Yes, Sarah, I know. Look, I'm not that drunk right now.".

"That's just what my mom used to say.".

"Hey Sarah, you ready for the tour?" Kirk asked me.

"Yeah!" I smiled, turning my attention to him. "I'm so fucking pumped! The last tour was great, I wanna feel like that again.".

We had toured for a bit in late '88 and most of '89, and I had loved it. We were going back on tour in a couple months, and I was really excited to be up on stage in front of thousands of people, doing what I loved again.

"What's happening with Blair?".

"My dad and my step- mom are gonna take care of her. When she's older, she can come with us. But not yet; she's too young.".

James burped right in my ear, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Eww, that's fockin' nasty, man." Lars told him.

"She doesn't care." James said.

"And you're lucky about that.".

I smiled at James and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I was in love with him. He had done so much for me after Cliff's death, and aside from his drinking, he was really fucking loveable, even though he sometimes didn't appear that way on the outside.

The night ended with me James being too drunk to carry our stuff out to the car, so Kirk ended up helping me. He was drunk, but less drunk than James.

"I'm sorry, Kirk." I sighed, slamming the trunk of the car shut with James' guitar and my bass back there. "You shouldn't have to always be helping me with this.".

"Don't worry, Sarah. It's fine." he replied. "Drive safe, alright?".

"Okay, I will.".

James came out to the car and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning in to kiss me.

"James!" I shouted, pushing him away. "Get in the fucking car, we're not fucking around tonight!".

"What got into you, babe?" he slurred, staring at me with confused, longing eyes.

"You're fucking drunk.". We got into the car and I drove home, not saying a word to him. I knew he was staring at me, but I tried not to look at him.

We got to our house and I walked in the door, my dad and my step- mom watching TV together.

"Hi." I said to them.

"What's up, mom and dad?" James said, doing devil signs with his hands. He laughed and sat with them on the couch. "You're watching this shit, seriously?".