My heart beats faster. My palms are sweaty. Vylad must be keeping quiet about it out of boosting the false confidence I have. Or maintaining it. Each step feels like it'll give way, and I'll crumble into a pit of lava. Walking down the stairs is too hard.
He sits there oblivious on the couch, a game controller in her hand. I look back to Vylad, but he nudges me forward while he stays behind in the background. He's let go of my hand. I feel cold, and my knees will give out any second now.
I place my hand on the back of the couch, trying my hardest to remain standing. His eyes remain glued to the television screen, his ears covered by a headset. If my voice is firm enough, I can move his attention to me.
"Laurance."
The game pauses before he turns around to face me, the headphones falling to his shoulders. I take a moment to let this sight of Laurance sink into my memory. For, I know in mere minutes, it'll change to one of hatred.
"I need to talk to you about something serious."
He offers me the chance to sit, but I refuse. I need to stand. Standing gives me false confidence to continue. Laurance makes a comment that my actions are strange, but this conversation will be strange.
"Sometime over the course of this school year, Garroth asked me out. I accepted."
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
He slowly stands from his position on the couch and paces back and forth. He never once looks me in the eye. He blocks his face from mine. I may not be able to see his facial expression, but his body stance says it all.
He stops in his place, turning to me. His eyes are in slits. "You got with my best friend behind my back, and you think saying sorry is going to make up for it? Like that's going to make it okay?"
"Why is your anger only directed towards me?"
Laurance goes on to tell me that I have betrayed him. Out of all the males I could've shown any interest in, it was Garroth. How it hurts him to know that no matter what he does, I will always be there to try and steal it away. How he cannot have anything to himself, even a friendship.
I expected this, but I believed he would be angry with Garroth as well. It appears that his hatred is directed only at me. I could tell him how many times I wished the secret would go, but Garroth said no. How many times we spoke about telling him, but Garroth was always against it. I wanted to tell Laurance. Garroth never did. I don't tell him.
"How long did it last?"
"Six months."
"Irene." He scoffs at me and shakes his head, claiming for six months he was stupid. How I took notice of it and ran with it. It is only then that his anger is being directed towards Garroth, but a great deal remains against me.
I look over to Vylad. His mood has changed as well. He's sitting on the steps, staring down at the floor. I take this as my moment of escape. "I'll leave. Just let me get a sweatshirt."
Laurance doesn't look at me and ushers me away with a shake of his hand. He turns back to the couch, walking over in a clumsy state. I watch him stumble onto it before I turn away. Vylad stands from his spot and offers me a hand, but I deny it. Silently, we make our way to my room, where I grab a random sweatshirt.
I look up at him with a soft sigh, tugging it over my head. I struggle for a moment, and my hair becomes a mess over my eyes. Vylad and I lock eyes for a moment, but there's no story told between us. For once, it's truly quiet.
"I should go tell Kandi."
"Do you think this is a good time? Laurance didn't react well."
"I need to get out of the house anyway. I don't wish to see Garroth, but Kandi needs to know. Telling Cadenza or the others would be easy. This. . . not so much. I lied for seven months now. I'm tired of lying. Vylad, I'm so tired of it."
He doesn't question me any further and insists he walk in front instead. That way he can be aware of Laurance and guard the way in case Garroth comes near. It's upsetting that I cannot walk with confidence. That I need someone to lead me.
The more time that passes increases the amount of regret I feel.
