You're here even when you're not
There's a warmth that won't go away
Are you what I needed all along?
I'm not lonely even when I'm alone
A corner of my memory
Your head on my shoulder
Still afraid that I'll mess it up
They said there's no fear where there is love, hmm
I need you when it's cold and blue
I need you when it's going good (And you?)
Won't ever say it though
Even if I push you away
Even if I resent you
Will you still hold my hand? (Will you?)
What if I never say it
Those special ordinary things weren't meant for me anyway
You stare at Yoongi's verse on your phone screen for a long, long time. It was worth the hour you just spent translating it. And no wonder he didn't tell you what it meant that day. Knowing makes his voice pierce your heart anew when you listen to the final version of Jasmine Blooms. His voice blends into yours before the chorus:
In the sea of our dreams
I find you with me on every page of our future
The jasmines wither away
But your scent refuses to fade
I'm searching for you again
Maybe you're just overthinking it. Even you're singing the chorus like you mean it, but you don't, do you? V wrote it after all. It's emotion, raw emotion - the words are not about a person but about a feeling. So why would his words be anything else?
"Y/N?" Seyeon peeps in, driving the previous chain of thought out of your mind.
"Hey, have a seat," you smile, locking your phone and placing it on the table. Seyeon slips into a high chair beside you. Bathed in the midday sun, Seoul's skyline stretches away from the giant glass window at the forum. You've got your laptop open on the long table facing the said window, and are sipping orange juice from Cafe Yeongsan.
"I'm going to run a few things by you,"
"Yeah," you answer, not quite in the moment. Your head feels chaotic and fuzzy.
"First of all, we are going by the album title Unreal, aren't we?"
"Yep,"
"Okay, that's set. Then the seven tracks, including the interlude, are..."
" - can we - sorry for interrupting you - can we include the Pink Diamond re-release in this album?"
Seyeon's face falls. "No, I'm sorry, Y/N. We haven't worked that out with them yet, so. I know it would have made sense since there's such a huge resurge in its streams right now..."
"It's fine, go on. The tracks are...?"
It's nowhere near fine. Irritation seeps into your brain. You re-recorded Pink Diamond a few weeks ago, when you were still struggling to write new music. The song was ageing surprising well, but no. It just wasn't meant to be. But you couldn't admit that. You just weren't the type of person to take things as they came anymore. You went after what you wanted. And yet, here was one thing defeating you again and again like a constant reminder that not everything was in your control.
"...also, there are 8 performances you need to do for Freak. It should take us about 2 days to shoot," she says, causing you to choke on your juice. Freak was the lead single. Eight stages in two days. If you take into account the practices, that means no sleeping for two nights straight. Seyeon continues to list out the stages and initial promotions, "...that's not including the North America and Europe tours. I'm thinking we can give you a week off before the Asia tour in May..."
Tours should be okay. But promotions usually kill you every time. You'd take meeting your listeners any day over meeting hosts, journalists, bloggers and whoever else with their own massive self-importance clouding over any genuine curiosity they have left for someone else's work.
"You can do this, Y/N. I know it looks like a lot right now, but you will have help every step of the way, okay," Seyeon adds after noticing how pale you had become after listening to her.
You nod with a weak smile. This album release has by far the most extensive promotions you have ever done. You feel excited but also terrified - this is going to demand every iota of your effort and willpower to get through.
"Just - need to mentally prepare myself to not have a life for the next four months," you absently click open the next mail in your inbox.
"You're gonna have fun, trust me," Seyeon chuckles, shutting down her scratch-free white Samsung notebook.
"Fun, yeah, I know. But also - wait - wait -" you stare at the email in front of you. You were just about to delete it but the name - it felt familiar.
Hashbrownboy.
You had laughed at him so, so much for coming up with it all those years ago.
YOU ARE READING
Pop Star || Yoongi x Reader
Fanfiction[Short Chapters] Being a pop star means you've got to be on your best behaviour at all times. But what happens when you end up dissing Kpop in front of the biggest Kpop stars in history? Suga thinks you're fickle when he first meets you - though it...
