Love Me for Me

Chapter Sixteen

SAM’S POV

As I opened Jill’s door to leave, Ben was standing right outside the door. “Oh my God.” I said, jumping back a little. He chuckled and I started laughing. “What’s up?” I asked after I walked out and shut the door.

“Diane said I should probably talk to you.” I stuck my hands into my back pockets as I waited for him to say something else.

“About what?”

Ben looked at his watch for a second and then looked at me. “Come on.” He nodded towards the door and held his hand out, wanting me to take it.

“Alright; give me a second.” I said as I kissed his cheek and ran into my room to grab a jacket. I met him in the living room and we both went outside. He grabbed my hand and we started walking down the street. “So what’s up?” I asked after a minute of silent walking. He opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t say it.

“How come you never told me you were a foster child?”

I looked up and saw him staring at me. I shrugged and kept walking. “I don’t know. I just don’t like telling people cause when they hear the words ‘foster child’ they think all of these crazy things- like ‘Oh my God, her parents didn’t love her so they gave her away.’ Plus, I’m over 18 so I’m not legally considered a foster kid. It’s just stupid, so I don’t even bother telling people. Sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him, rubbing my arm. “It’s okay.” he said. “I get it.” We walked in silence again until Ben cleared his throat. “So if you don’t mind me asking, why are you a foster child?”

I shoved my hands into my pockets and sighed, seeing my breath in front of me. “My parents were killed in a car crash when I was 5. They were coming home from the hospital when they found out my sister Grace died as a premature baby. A car came speeding around the corner and hit them. Both of them were dead by the time help got there.” I haven’t told anyone that story in maybe 6 years since Jill came here.

“Wow.” He said, sounding shocked. “I’m so sorry; that’s awful.”

I shook my head, trying to forget the awful memories. “It’s not a big deal. It was so long ago; I barely remember them anymore.” I much as it hurt to say that, it was true. It’s been 14 years since I’d seen them other than the pictures I have of them. Pretty much everything that happened before then is a blur. But no matter how hard it was, I was determined to never forget them.

Ben slowly nodded his head and fixed his hair. “What about the others?” he asked softly. “Well, when Derrick was about a year old, his mom was instantly killed in a drunk driving accident. And his father was killed in Iraq when he was 4. He had an older sister, Tess, but she couldn’t support both of them so she was forced to give him up.” It’s weird to be telling Ben about all of our pasts, but he sounded like he really wanted to know and I trusted him knowing that he wouldn’t tell anyone else. “And for the twins” I continued “Diane opened the front door one day and saw 2 little girls just sitting there. Obviously, she took them in but all we found out was that they were a year old and their names. We call them the ‘mystery twins’ cause no one knows anything about them.”

He chuckled and I kicked a rock down the street. “What about Jill? Is her past the reason she acts like that?” he asked. I slowly nodded my head and kicked the rock again.

“Jill never met her dad- he left her mom before she was born. And when she was 7 her mother went to jail for child abuse.” He looked at me shocked and I nodded. “She had 2 sisters- Marissa and Kendra- but they all got separated when they needed families. She hasn’t seen either of them in 6 years.” He hadn’t really said anything when I was talking about that, so something was bothering him. “What’s wrong?” I asked, putting my hand on his arm.

“I didn’t know that happened to Jill. I feel so bad for her.”

I gave him a half smile and moved my hand away. “Yeah, when she first came it was pretty bad. She would have nightmares all the time and she had cuts and bruises all over her body. But that doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. You just need to get to know her. She just grew up around that kind of stuff.”

He nodded and we walked silently for a moment. “What about Diane?” he asked. “Why did she take all of you in?” I took a deep breath, surprised that he asked about Diane. Almost nobody cares about why she does this.

“Well, she was just like any other normal woman, she was married and had kids- twins, actually. But something awful happened almost 15 years ago.” I felt my throat clogging up. Even though it didn’t involve me whatsoever, I couldn’t help but want to cry every time I tell someone the story.

“If it’s not too personal, what happened?”

I breathed out and looked down at the ground. “Well she used to live in Canton, Ohio with her husband and 2 kids. One day while she was at work her husband had the day off and stayed home with the kids. She heard on the news stuff about a tornado warning and within minutes her entire building has huddled in the basement while the tornado passed. She got home after and well… there was no home anymore. The tornado tore everything apart.” I stopped, hoping he would get the hint and so I could tell myself not to cry. “Long story short, they never found any of their bodies.” Ben’s jaw dropped and I could tell he wasn’t expecting that. “So, she moved to Cincinnati and became a legal foster parent not long after. I was her first kid."

He nodded and looked at me, lightly squeezing my hand. “How many foster children has she had?” he asked. I looked over at him and gave him a small smile.

“I was the first, and then we had a boy and girl stay for 2 years before Derrick came. After that I think it was 3 more kids stayed with us within 3 years when she was told she would basically be assigned the kids that she would be able to help and care for the most. Those kids left and 3 years later Jill came. It was just the 3 of us for 5 years until the twins showed up and it’s been us 5 ever since.”

He nodded and thought about something. “So, it you’ve lived with 10 different kids for 14 years?” I nodded, scuffing my Vans against the side of the road.

“Last year she told the agency she wanted to take a break and just handle the 5 of us for now. So I guess we’re considered a ‘family’.” He chuckled as we turned the corner back in front of my house. I stopped at the mailbox and leaned on it, shoving my hands in my pockets. We both stood there quietly for a while. I’m not sure what he was thinking about, but I couldn’t the fact that I just told him my life story and he didn’t care. “Hey Ben?” I asked, breaking the silence. He looked up from the ground and stared at me curiously. “Thanks for just then. It felt really good to get everything off my chest.”

He smiled and nodded. “It’s fine. I really like that you trust me enough to tell me about your parents and everyone else’s pasts. It really opened my eyes and showed me how lucky I am.”

I scoffed and nodded. “Wow, that was really deep Ben.” He laughed, leaning his arm on the mailbox, too. He looked at his watch quick and looked up at me again.

“Hey, I hate to leave but Carter gets out of work and I need to be there cause he doesn’t have a key yet.” I nodded, slightly confused.

“Carter lives with you now?”

He nodded and pulled his phone. “Yeah- it’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it some other time.” I smiled and nodded, pulling my hands out of my pockets.

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later.” He kissed my forehead before turning around and walking down the street. After watching him for a minute I smiled and stood up straight, walking back into my house.