The Story of Vada Munroe

Chapter Twenty Four

Vada laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark as a tear rolled down the side of her face.

Her and Michael got into a fight when she told him she was bipolar. He wasn't angry or anything, but Vada was. She didn't even know what she was so angry about, she just knew she was.

Vada sat at the end of her bed, Michael sitting beside her. She stared down at her hands on her lap as he watched her. She had told him she wanted to talk to him about something and he came over right away.

"I don't know how to really tell you this, so I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'm uh.. I'm bipolar." She looked up at him when he didn't respond. He stared at her for a moment before looking down and she furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you going to say anything?" She asked.

He nodded slightly and looked back up at her. "I had a feeling." He said.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confusion in the tone of her voice.

He smiled reassuringly at her. "It's nothing." She turned her head to look in front of her, and after a moment, she scoffed and shook her head then stood up, feeling a sudden anger.
He looked up at her. "Where are you going?" He asked, watching as she walked to her bedroom door.

"Leave me the hell alone." She mumbled and he furrowed his eyebrows and stood up and he rushed over to her and grabbed her hand, causing her to turn towards him. "I told you to leave me alone!" She yelled, pulling her hand from his grasp.

"Vada-"

"Fuck you." She turned her back to him and walked out of her bedroom and she mumbled, "Get out." On her way down the hall.

It was driving her insane.
Why was she mad at him?
Michael hasn't spoken to her since that day, which she thought was because he was upset with her but in reality, it was to give her the space she needed because he knew she needed it to process everything because no matter what, not in the 3 months she's been here, she never thought she would be in this situation, not for the 16 years she's lived so far, she never thought she would end up being bipolar.

Vada knocked lightly on the door of Chris' house, and after a while, he answered and he looked down at her and sighed.

"Look, V, I can't help you-"

Vada shook her head lightly.
"No, I'm not here for that." She claimed in a low voice and she looked down. Chris shoved his hands into his pockets as he stared at her as she continued, "I just don't want to go home." He couldn't say no to her. He still loved her as family. He huffed and moved aside to let her in. "Thank you." She quickly blurted out before walking past him and she sat down on the couch after dropping her bag below her feet.

He closed the door then joined her on the couch and she stared down at her lap as he stared at her, and after a moment of silence, he spoke. "What's wrong?" He asked, leaning back in his seat.

She looked up at him and sighed and looked back down. "I just got some bad news a week ago." She said and leaned over to grab a cigarette from the pack on the table that Chris tossed.

"What was the news?" He asked, lighting a cigarette.

She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I'm bipolar." She told him.

He blew out smoke from his mouth as he nodded slightly. "Damn." He mumbled and Vada tossed the lighter on the table after she lit her cigarette and she inhaled deeply.

"Yeah, and I have no idea how to fucking deal with it." She admitted.

He nodded once again and turned towards her. "Let me tell you something, V." She looked over at him. "Nobody gets to choose how they live their life. People go through a lot of crazy shit and there isn't a damn thing anyone can do to prepare them for it. They have to learn to survive the bullshit life throws at them, sometimes they fail and sometimes they succeed. It's all up to them. They get to choose if they fight or not. Nobody else." Vada gulped lightly and looked down, processing everything he had just told her. "You see what I'm saying?"

She nodded lightly. "Yeah, yeah, I get it."

He nodded and stood up then put out his cigarette in the ashtray and he looked down at her. "You hungry?" He asked and she shook her head and brought the cigarette to her lips and inhaled softly. He nodded then turned and disappeared down the hall to the kitchen.

Vada thought a lot about what Chris said, but one thing really stuck out, "They get to choose if they fight or not. Nobody else." Vada didn't really feel like fighting, but she knew if she didn't she would just turn into her mother and she didn't want to be anyone but herself like she knew who that was anymore. She lost herself the second she took that pill a few weeks ago and deep down she knew that, but she couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of being empty. Numb. She didn't realize at the time but she was turning into her mother even if she chose to fight or not. All she wanted was those few minutes of feeling numb just one last time.

She looked up at the table, there was a small bag filled with a white substance. She gulped nervously as she fought with her mind to not let her do it, but she knew she would lose the fight and grab that bag and run into the bathroom and waste no time taking the drugs and she did just that.

Vada walked out of the bathroom and quietly closed the door and she wiped the powder from her nose. She walked back into the living room and grabbed her phone from the couch and looked down at it to see a few missed calls and texts from her mother, asking her where she was. She huffed and shoved her phone into her back pocket.

"Hey, Chris, I'm gonna head out."

"Hold on a minute!" He rushed into the room and she looked up at him. "I, uhm, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for the shit that went down."

She shook her head and smiled softly. "It's okay, I should be the one sorry for the shit I said. I didn't mean it."

He smiled. "C'mere." He pulled her into a hug and she reluctantly hugged him back. "I love you, V. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. You're my family."

"I love you too."

She couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for taking the drugs. She didn't want to hurt Chris if something was to happen to her.

She pulled back from the hug and smiled softly at him before walking past him to the front door and she walked out, closing the door after her.

She couldn't keep doing this to him nor her father, who lived through this with her mother for the past 17 years and to her mother, who lived this with her parents and eventually with herself. This was the last time she'll take any sort of drug, she knew it had to be this way.