Pick Me Up - Theo Raeken

necessary friend - part 4

I managed to watch the whole movie without looking at Liam staring at me which was such an achievement because I was so close to snapping at him. The movie is over and I turn off the tv and the awkward moment is officially starting right now. We both don't say anything; we don't know what to say.

"Great movie" he says. As if he even watched it. His eyes were literally glued at me instead. "I know right I really liked it" I tag along to his lies. Again silence has fallen upon us. "Thanks for the snacks" finally he says something different that is most likely not a lie since he ate everything. "sure" I answer him calmly with my eyes still glued at my Athena and smiling at her.

"Never thought of you as a cat boy". That's it, this conversation, he had to open it. "I'm full with surprises, Dunbar!" I smirk at him. "You sure are" he chuckles awkwardly. It's nice that he at least agrees. "What kind of pet boy did you think I was" I question him finally curiosity won over me. "Uhm.... actually I always thought of you as more of a... lone wolf" he responds slowly and silently as to trying to confess without causing hard feelings. I don't say anything, and as anticipated it did make me feel upset. It reminded me of my past and how dark it was. I keep staring at Athena because if I look at him I'll be tearing up. I try to keep my voice and my heartbeat steady not knowing if I should say anything. "It's not your fault and I'm glad I was wrong" he finally says after a few long seconds for a way to recover from this conversation. He probably noticed how tensed I was and how my eyes are getting filled with tears ready to fall. "Yeah well.. she's my necessary friend" I utter out as in 'you failed me, everyone has' after a few seconds very silently while wiping away the tears. I built up a wall between me and him through staring at Athena. Me not looking at him only indicates that I don't want him to come and hug me. That I'm still hurt. But I deeply want it. And as expected, he notices this wall too and respects my choice especially because it's the first time seeing me after so long. If he comes and comforts me, I'll cry like never before. He won't just study me, but he'll see everything. I'll be completely see through to him. Holding on to Athena is a strong will right now to avoid all this. Even though I'm craving affection especially from him. Actually.. only from him. But this time it would take another picture than the one I'm picturing in my head. The one I dream about. Unleashing everything today is not in my to do-list. So i hold to this grudge. And he knows. And I don't know if I want him to force it out of me so we can get it over with.. thinking it will happen in the future and it's making me anxious or want him to respect my choice and have it happen another time. Both of them are making slightly want to give up this grudge. This wall. But I can't. I shouldn't. I want to crush these walls. But I'm scared.

"I'm sorry" he tells me after five minutes that were filled with a loud silence. I knew what he meant. It was an apology for my past, for how my life was stolen away from me, for how I was hugely misunderstood, for how badly I was treated; not helped, for how lonely I was and still am, for how everyone left me, for him not being present when I needed him the most, for not loving me when I needed it, for everything. I slightly nod and mentally accept it because it sounded so genuine, it sounded hurt. As if he was in pain thinking about me and my life and how he wasn't there for me. It seems to have hurt him.

I fear to look at him because right now I'm see-through. I'm vulnerable. I will breakdown in front of him and it won't be good. I try to calm down and silence my mind, I need a distraction. All I can hear is Athena's meows which seem to have always had a good affect on me. I focus on her and ignore my other thoughts. "She's perfect" he tells me at last which makes me smile. "Yeah she is" I say calmly with that smile still on.

What I hate is how emotionally damaged I look and he can get the best of it. I hate not being able to control it when he's around. It's not fair.

"Can I get a second chance?" he breaks the silence asking me and fearing of the answer. "You gave me a second chance, and I'm here now. We all deserve second chances.. just don't screw it up" I answer him honestly, still not daring to look at him. And honestly I've never sounded more scared and firm in one sentence before. I'm scared if he hurts me whether it is intentionally or not, I'm already too hurt to gain more pain. "I wasn't planning to" he tells me sounding so confident, this answer calms my soul. Me and Athena are gonna have a constant lovely visitor, I can already tell. "And Theo, I'm proud of you" I finally look at him and smile. I guess not just Athena has this much affect on me.

"Okay can I send a picture of Athena to Morey? I've been dying to show them this beauty" he tells me changing the subject with the biggest puppy eyes I've ever seen. I laugh and tell him he can and so he does. He takes many pictures of her and me as she was still on my lap and he sends some to the group-chat that I'm in too. Morey greet me and go crazy for her, saying they want to visit too. "Where's your phone aren't you gonna text back?" he asks me and that's when it hit me it's still on my bed from earlier and I haven't used it ever since and it's turned off. "Uh... it's in my bedroom I forgot it there" I tell him while I was trying to remember what happened to it. "You have muted us haven't you?" he asks curious since I am never active and I never respond to anything. "No I haven't" I confess laughing. "I do check your texts from the notification centre. I just don't open them" I add. "So you ghost us" wow now he sounded offended. "Well remember I was left behind, be thankful I didn't leave the group chats altogether" I tell him almost snapping at him. "Well not anymore you're one of the puppy pack now go get your phone and text back" he tells me while showing me his text that he has written but still yet not sent. It mainly said that I am part of their pack now. This makes me feel both happy and nervous- I don't know how to be around others. I'm just sort of used to Liam but that's it. And I was never part of something. So this overwhelms me with a lot of emotions that I cannot figure out just yet but I'm definitely scared and slightly excited but this part is only because I'm gonna see him more.

He sends the text and since I'm not gonna stand up and go to my room just to get my phone and leave Athena I snatch his phone and write a text of my own. My short text included that I'm happy to be apart of their pack and that I'm excited to create some memories with them and to have them here since it's impossible not to love Athena. The responses to that were both being surprised and shocked that I'm alive and that I did text back. They welcome me and Liam asks me if they can come over now so we can all play video games, eat pizza and celebrate this day. I happily accept welcoming this new chapter that's gonna be filled with happiness and laughter with a group of people. I have a feeling it's gonna be amazing.

Liam didn't just give me a second chance, he changed my life. This is why my soul has clinged to his that much. This is why he has this affect on me, this is why I'm completely vulnerable around him having no shield to hide anything from him. And for everything, I know he's my person. My anchor. And I need him. Most of all, want him.

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Hope y'all liked it and enjoyed the last happy part of this chapter <3