𝔈𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩✦❧

↠𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐞 (𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭)

TW: Before you read any further into this oneshot, I'd like to warn you of injury detail, self harm, intrusive thoughts, mentions of suicide, an attempt on suicide and other things of the sorts. Please be careful. I love you <3

Request for Strawberry_Crape I hope you enjoy this and that it helps you with whatever you're going through, remember that your feelings are valid and that there's always going to be someone out there who cares for you and loves you. Please let me know if there's anything you'd like me to add or remove from this oneshot. Sorry that this took so long to get published, I fell ill :')

Blood. Running. Rushing. Everything was a blur.

You could barely make out simple shapes. As you looked down, you saw the opened bottle of pills and the knife clasped in your shaking hand. You felt dizzy, weak, and most of all worthless. You didn't see any point in being in this world any longer. No matter how hard you tried you still ended up hurting people, and began to isolate yourself in fear of losing everyone.

Nothing stopped. The pain didn't stop. The blade didn't stop. The thoughts didn't stop. And you couldn't do anything about it. So you turned to suicide. You believed it was the best option. Cutting yourself only fueled the fire of self hatred.

Your phone kept vibrating. Notifications kept pouring in. There was no point in looking at them now. Hopefully you'd be gone soon.

Within seconds, you heard banging on the door. You couldn't move. No matter how much you wanted to.

"Y/N! Please just open the door thats all I ask of you!"

You began to cry harder. Eventually, the door burst open, now loose at the hinges.

"Y/N!"

It was Pure Vanilla. He ran to your shaking body, checking your heart rate.

"Oh my lord...Y/N..."

He turned to the bottle of pills and the knife that laid beside you on the floor. You reached out for Vanilla and he grabbed your hand, pulling you close.

"Youre gonna be ok, I just need to ring someone."

You stayed in his arms as he frantically grabbed his phone, dialling the number. You could barely make out anything that was being said on either end of the line, but you knew he was talking to Alchemist.

"Please just try to stay awake Y/N, ok? Alchemist is on her way to help produce a sort of potion/medicine to get rid of the harmful chemicals from the overdose."

You nodded slowly, feeling exhausted. Vanilla lifted you up into his arms and carefully placed you down onto your bed.

Within a short amount of time, Alchemist appeared at the front door and helped Vanilla in the potion making.

Once this was done, they brough it to you.

"Y/N honey? Can you take this for me please?"

You wanted to take the potion for Vanilla, but then again you didn't want to stay alive. If you didn't take the potion you could slowly rot, like the way you wanted. You'd finally be free from everything.

"Please Y/N. I can help you get better. You can tell me everything I promise that suicide is not the right way to do this."

Vanilla continued to encourage you to take it.

"I can't lose you Y/N, please. I love you so much and you mean the world to me."

Eventually, you drank the potion. It wasn't going to immediately make you feel better, but you'd see a difference and you'd no longer be at risk.

"Good job honey."

Alchemist had already left by now, glad that she could help. Vanilla laid beside you in the bed and opened his arms, signalling for you to come closer. You weakly shuffled closer, until you were in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Y/N. I didn't know that you felt so bad that you wanted to end your own life. You know you can always tell me if somethings up, right? I wont judge you. I've seen many many things in this world. I love you."

His words made you tear up.

"I'm just so sick of everything. I have to wake up every single fucking morning and feel so fed up and tired. I have nightmares and I have no proper control over my own thoughts or feelings. Every second of my life is so difficult and I just end up hurting everyone around me. I started harming myself, and not just cutting. But it doesn't work as well anymore. I'm tired. I hate myself. I hate everything. The world would be better off without me."

By now you were sobbing uncontrollably and Vanilla began to calmly stroke your hair.

"Y/N im so sorry that you have to go through all of this. But we know that you're struggling, and if you ever make someone upset, we know you didn't mean to. Plus you always apologise. You're the sweetest person I have ever met and I love you more than anyone else. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here with me right now. You've helped me through so much. Please come to me next time and don't be afraid to tell me what's going on. You should get some rest. Ill stay here with you. And if you're ok with it, we can clean all of your wounds and do something you'd like, does that sound good?"

You nodded, smiling up at Vanilla.

"I love you."

Word Count: 929 ♡