Let Go (GXG, MD/LG) A Vanilla Introduction to Submission

6. This Girl Is Driving Me Wild

Nicole's POV 

"Well I always took on the more traditionally 'masculine' role, I like to open the doors for women I admire, things like that. It translated into making love and then when I was eighteen I went to my first dungeon, took a lot of classes on the lifestyle, found a mentor, learned as much as I could and when a sub who had been in a few different classes with me asked me to dominate her it just all clicked for me. It made sense suddenly."

"So you tried more than one thing? More than just being a domme?" Asks Kristen

Nicole nods "I took on many roles actually, I was submissive first but I never felt completely comfortable in that position. For me it took a lot more trust and faith than I was willing to give at that time. I was young and trusting people I had just met felt foreign to me when I've grown up around the same people all my life."

"Doesn't that make it harder to make romantic relationships? Not trusting people very well?"

"Yes, that's what happened for the majority when I was 18 and 19, when I turned twenty things started turning around. I met a girl-"

Kristen giggles "It's always a girl,"

"Sure is," Nicole grins back, she stops speaking when the waiter brings their first course, she winks in thanks and when he's gone she continues as she watches Kristen grab a mushroom and cut it before bringing it to her mouth to eat. "I met a girl who was older than me, a little wiser, and a little in general. We spent a lot of time together outside of the dungeon scene and became good friends, eventually one thing led to another and we ended up exploring a sexual dominant submissive relationship. Closer to the traditional domme and sub, not the caregiver dynamics I enjoy now."

"Is your BDSM a big part of your life?"

Nicole shrugs "They call it a lifestyle, but I mostly see it as the way to shapes my relationships with people, romantically, sexually, friendship, I think I see people differently than someone who is more on the... vanilla spectrum."

Kristen nods taking that in. Nicole waits and gives her a second to put her thoughts together but when Kristen doesn't say anything and grabs another mushroom to eat Nicole asks her "Would you like to do the Caesar salad for our next course? I personally feel like it's better than the other options."

Kristen nods "That's the only kind of salad I eat,"

"Really? Why is that?"

It's Kristen's turn to shrug "I have a disability, it's invisible, but I have Crohn's disease, it inflames my intestines so I can't eat certain things. Caesar salads are the only salads that don't hurt me."

"I haven't heard of that before, I'm sorry about that, are you getting treatment?"

"Yes, I do, bi-monthly. I spend a few hours in the hospital getting treatment, through an IV."

"Do you mind me asking what happens to you? Symptoms?"

"Um," Kristen hesitates for just a moment, biting her glossy bottom lip. "The first sign is that my appetite kinda disappears, then I'll start losing weight. Five pounds in a week or so and it'll just continue from there, then pain. I get the worst stomach aches you can ever imagine. Fatigue, tiredness. I can't work, I can't sing, I can't write music, I am just exhausted until it's time for treatment again."

"Your treatment doesn't stop all of those problems?"

She shakes her head, "My body tries to fight off the medicine or something, my doctor hasn't really told me yet, but when it gets about two weeks before my next treatment my symptoms start up again, regardless of my pain medication. Then I just have to wait until my next appointment, my doctor and I haven't found a better system yet."