Learn To Trust (Sequel to Learn To Love)

Chapter 2

I close my eyes as I cry quietly into my pillow, ignoring the repeating knocks on my door.

"Carlie, please, please, please, please, tell me what's wrong." Josh begs. Please. The same word Jake used. hear the pain in his voice and finally let go of the stubbornness. I walk over to door and open it a crack.

"Nothing's wrong. " I say simply.

"You were CRYING, for God's sake, what's wrong? Why did you just run away? What did I do?" He sighs in frustration, running a hand through his hair. I look into his eyes, they're dull, even when filled with tears. SO much duller than his brother's. How can I go from kissing a guy to thinking about his brother? I sigh,

"You didn't do anything. It's me, not you. But don't worry, it's nothing. I'll get over it. I really did have a lot of fun. I promise. I think I'm just out of it today." I sigh again.

"Okay. I had fun too. I'm pretty sure you're a little tired so I'm just going to go." He smiles sadly, kissing my cheek. I blush.

"Bye. I'll see you tomorrow." he says.

"Yeah, me too." I manage a smile. I watch him leave and close the door. I walk to my balcony for fresh air and suddenly hear a pair of voices talking from the garden. I look down, Allison and... Jake. My heart drops to the floor. I want to look away and lock myself in my room. I can't. I stay rooted on spot. I watch them sit on a bench.

"So how are you?" I hear Allison say in her sickly sweet voice.

"I've been better." Jake shrugs.

"Ah, is that so?" Allison purrs. She literally purrs.

"Yeah." He sighs.

"Well I know what could make you feel better." She smiles sweetly, batting her eyelashes. Jake raises an eyebrow. Allison leans in and presses her lips to his. I gasp as I watch him kiss her back. They stand up, together and he wraps his arms around her thin waist and she wraps her arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair. His eyes suddenly flick upward and lock with mine. His bright blue cobalt eyes widen. Mine fill with tears and I look away. How is this possible? I don't trust him, I can't, but then I see him kissing another girl and jealousy rages through me. I back away, unable to break the hold his eyes have on mine. Something flickers in his brught blue eyes and he returns his attention to Allison. His hands snake up her back as they kiss deeply. I finally look away and run back into my room, devastated. I don't want Josh. I want Jake. I want him so bad. But I also don't want him, what if he's just lying? But that speech he gave me... I sigh. I collapse on the bed and close my eyes, humming quietly.

Here it's safe and here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

This was my favourite lullaby, my mom used to sing it to me each night before I went to bed. I need to sleep. I can't think about it anymore. I turn off the light, close the doors to the balcony and change into a light pink nightgown. Suddenly, I pick up my diary, pen and turn on my bedside lamp.

"Dear Diary,

I'm so confused these days. Jake gave me this big speech baout the fact that I taught him to love but suddenly there's this guy named Josh. And guess what? He's Jake's twin. I know, it's really confusing for me too. I just don't know what to do. Josh even kissed me. He kissed me. I ran away, I thought it felt just... wrong. It wasn't the right twin for me. I wish I didn't do that. Josh really was so sweet and I do genuinely like him. But then, I went back to my room, Josh apologized, I apologized and he left. I walked out onto my balcony but saw Jake. Jake... and... and Allison. They were talking for a while but then Allison kissed him. I thought he would pull away but... he kissed her back. He saw me up on my balcony too and he just kept kissing her. I... I thought Jake really liked me after he gave me the speech. I thought I could trust him but something is holding me back. I don't know what it is. On the other hand, after these stupid guy problems, Christine, my favourite (don't tell Justine or Andrea) maid, has the plague. It's severe, it's been raging through Illea for some time but I never knew palace staff could catch it. I thought they were safe but Christine has it. She didn't look good the last time I saw her and I even went to the palace doctor to ask him about her. He said she has about a month left, or maybe less. Christine has a 10% chance of surviving. 10%. That's it. I wish there was something I could do. I'd take her place if I could but I can't. I wish so badly that my life wasn't so complicated. But it is. I can't do anything about it. I have to go.

Signed,

Carlie. "

I sign my name with a flourish and turn off the light, falling asleep quickly.

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I wake up the next morning to the smiling face of Andrea. The smile almost reaches her eyes. Almost. None of my maid's smiles have reached their eyes for a long time. I blink and rub my eyes.

"Morning." I say.

"Good morning, Carlie. We have some company today." She winks. I frown in confusion and look around before my eyes meet his. Jake. I sit up,

"Andrea! Why did you let him in? I'm not even in a dress!" I accuse teasingly.

"He ordered me." She shrugs and hands me a light blue dress. I run to my bathroom and change quickly, brushing out my long hair, brushing my teeth and washing my face before walking back out. I sit across from him, crossing my legs.

"So.. how may I help you?" I ask. He clears his throat before smiling at me. I've never seen him smile.

"Would you like to go on a date with me... for the whole day?" He asks.

A/N: HEY GUYS, I'M GLAD I UPDATED. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY ON MY SECOND BOOK! WOW! I'LL UPDATE AT 50 READS SO LET'S DO THIS! BTW I LIKE TO MAKE MY CHAPTERS A LITTLE LONGER NOW SO YEAH... OKAY THANKS FOR READING!