New Day New Decade

Waiting On The Sun

I sat there a few hours, mumbling sweet nothings to the boy when he would start to cry or whimper in his sleep. When he was quiet I would sit back against the wall and close my eyes as I waited for Denki to wake. Somewhere around 4 a.m. I heard as Denki's breath hitched ever so slightly and felt as he moved slightly turning on his side a little to look up to me. "Did you sleep well?" I asked causing the golden-eyed boy to jump a little. 

"Mhm... Why didn't you move me though so you could move around and stuff?"

"Cause."

"Cause...?"

"Cause I didn't," I answered with a bit of sass. "What did you dream of?" I questioned him as I sat forward and looked down at him, still playing with his fuzzy hair. 

"You of course." Denki laughed out before calming down quickly and smoothly. "Nah, I don't really remember." Lie. "Also thank you for healing me, I don't know how or when but thank you."

"It was my honor," I told him ignoring the fact that he had lied to me about not remembering his dreams. "Anything you want to do for the next few hours before we have to get ready for school?" His eyes shined and I could almost see gears turning before he decided to hold back what he was going to say. "Denki? You know you can tell me anything right?"

The neon blond sat up straight and then looked at me, leaving my lap feeling empty and cold as he took his heat with him. "Of course I do! I just don't think what I was going to say would be something you'd be down for. How about we finish up the movie we watched before I fell asleep and then see where we are at with time." I didn't like the fact that he was suddenly closing me off like that. So I did the only thing that came to mind when I saw him go to slip off my bed. Now I sat above him holding his hands down by his head as I looked down at him with a serious expression. 

"Look I don't mind you keeping your secrets, like I do, but I don't like feeling closed off. Or well closed off by you. I can understand why you may not want to tell me about your dreams but I like to hear what goes on in that amazing head of yours and I've noticed you slowly closing me out day by day. I won't push any further right now but I'm telling you now that I don't like it, and I would like to know what's going on regardless of if you think I'll like it or not." I noticed as his eyes widened with the more I said and when I finished I sat back and let go of my hold on him. He was super smart but damn could he be dense.

"I'm sorry Zuzu..." The hurt in his voice was clear and I suddenly felt guilty, with a sigh I turned to look at the boy who suddenly seemed hyper-focused on his thumbnail. 

"Denki I'm not mad. We all have things we want to keep to ourselves but I would prefer you tell me you'd rather not tell me instead of lying or making up something on the fly. You know I'm down for just about anything if it piques my interest. I just get irritated because I don't understand why I feel like I do nor why you are closing me off. I respect whatever choice you make, I do, but I see you pulling away and it worries me because I don't understand why then it irritates me because I don't understand why I'm worried." I tried to explain further so the hurt look on his face went away. 

"I don't mean to worry or irritate you Zuzu... it must be something in my nature..."

"Denki I don't mind being worried about you. I'm just... lost as to why. Why it bothers me that I don't understand this and why I can't seem to pick out exactly how I feel about you. You are the first person in many years to accept me as I am and I don't want to lose this connection but at the same time, I can't understand why. I don't understand myself right now and that worries me more because I don't want to hurt you." I was looking to the floor of my room now as I spoke with a calm manner and a tone telling him just how confused I was.