(Authors note: HAPPY 30th CHAPTER!! Wrote this one while listening to tek it from cafune. Anyways I'm sorry if it's cringe! I tried my best. I look back at my old stories and cringe, especially my GRIMMJOW ones LMAO. But warning mentioning of self harm and suicide. Story not edited.)
"It's happening again." She thought walking the streets of seireitei holding her food she bought from a street vendor after scouting Rugongai.
She walked straight with her head high but in her peripheral vision she could hear the snickers of other Shinigami talked down about her. All her life that's all she ever heard. Being the granddaughter of the head captain held a reputation that apparently she did not meet.
"I can't believe they are related, she's not even a seated officer and been under the 8th division for so long."
Stuffing a dango in her mouth (Your Name) sighed, she was the talk around the place, she felt like a celebrity and everyone knew her. Everything she did and said was always judged and she couldn't catch a break.
"Hello my little flower." Kyoraku greeted placing a hand on her head as she looked up to her captain surprised. Her cheeks stuff with dango.
"Taicho." She uttered as he winked at her and she smiled towards him. "What are you doing here?"
"Captains meeting."
The other Shinigami around bowed with respect and didn't utter a word about (Your Name) anymore as she pulled her sleeve down by routine.
Kyoraku noticed but chose not to say anything as he grins at her and walks off.
Sitting in her room she felt empty as she stared at the empty wall "what's wrong with me? Why aren't I enough?" She thought staring at the blade across the room, her lungs were getting heavy and she hugged her arms for comfort.
"Don't do it, don't do it."
Sighing she picked up the metal and cried, would the pain make her feel better again.
The cherry liquid spilled as she let it drip down her arm as she slept with haunting thoughts.
"(Your Name) is she late again?" Nanao asked the other members as they had a mandatory practice session.
Most of them rolled their eyes and snickered, most believed there was favoritism because she was the grand daughter of the head captain, it was also why she was strongly disliked by lots of the members.
"I'm sorry! I'm here!" She yelled as Nanao sighed and let her join the line.
"Pair in groups of two, we will be doing self defense today."
As everyone scrambled to find a partner, everyone she asked either pushed her aside or already had a partner. Sadly looking around she was randomly placed with a fellow member.
"Don't think you're gonna get it easy." He threaten her as she bit her lip from lashing out on him.
"I'm strong, I'll be fine."
With a few kicks in and punches he was knocked out in no time, but that didn't leave the Shinigami on the floor quit as he threw dirt into (Your Name) eyes and wrestled her to the ground.
"Tch, don't get all high and mighty because you won, you're still weak for what reputation you got going up."
Clenching her fist she bit her words back because she always thought about what grandpa would do, he wouldn't let trash get into her brain.
Yet it did, although she never physically fought anyone back she hurt herself, constantly. Weather it was mentally believing she wasn't good enough and physically with a blade.
